Our Year to Get It Right
by funvince
Summary: Quinn believes that Rachel is making a mistake by getting married so young. Rachel has always been there for Quinn even when Quinn was at her lowest. It was time to return the favor. Alternate Universe of "On My Way."
1. The Bride and the Bridesmaid

**Our Year to Get It Right**

Disclaimer: _Glee_ doesn't belong to me. If it did, then I would try to provide better continuity! :P

_Summary_: Quinn believes that Rachel is making a mistake by getting married so young. Rachel has always been there for Quinn even when Quinn was at her lowest. It was time to return the favor.

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><p><strong>-Chapter 1: The Bride and the Bridesmaid-<strong>

_Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. _

Quinn didn't know what reminded her of that particular quote right then. She hadn't watched _Forest Gump _in years. Yet she couldn't help but think that this particular simile was dead-on when it came to her life.

What was those chocolate pieces that nobody liked? Oh yeah. Those orange creme ones. That was also appropriate. Her life was one orange creme-filled box of yuck.

Teen pregnancy at sixteen. Getting kicked off of Cheerios and out of her house. Three boyfriends whom she either cheated on or was cheated on by. Getting outed as Lucy Caboosey. Dumped at a funeral. Becoming a juvenile delinquent Skank and losing her damn mind with that baby drama.

She had not predicted any of this. Somehow, in only three years, her life had become a ridiculously absurd soap opera. And she wasn't even done with her list! The most absurd thing to happen to her, the one life event that nobody in a million years could have predicted happening... Who could have ever predicted that she would end up standing in a dress shop looking for bridesmaid gowns as one of the bridesmaids for the wedding of _Rachel Berry _and _Finn Hudson_?

Life was like a box of chocolates, and Quinn wanted to find the person who made her particular confectionery box and punch him in the face.

Honestly, she didn't even know why she was here. She had made it quite clear that she did not approve of this wedding. But, somehow, when Rachel had asked her to at least get fitted for a bridesmaid dress in case she changed her mind by the time Nationals came around, she couldn't bring herself to say no. Damn Berry and her puppy dog eyes!

"Quinn, what do you think of your dress?"

Quinn turned around to look at Rachel in surprise. She wondered when the girl had stepped into her dressing room. It was astonishing how someone who usually had so much presence could move so stealthily.

The shorter girl was looking up at her with a hopeful expression, and that caused Quinn to smirk a bit. Quinn liked having to tilt her head downward to see Rachel. In the beginning, it was because it gave her a feeling of superiority to literally look down on the young diva. But now it was because she enjoyed seeing so much energy and enthusiasm come out of such a small body. It was funny and cute...

Quinn quickly averted her eyes. She replied, "The dress isn't bad. It's just a little too... pink."

"Does that mean you hate it?" Rachel asked with worry in her eyes.

"No, it's fine, really," Quinn said with a wave of her hand. "Pink's not my favorite color right now for obvious reasons, but I don't think the dress is ugly or anything. Besides, it doesn't matter what I think. You're the bride. It's going to be your special day. You're supposed to outshine the rest of us."

"I think it'd be impossible for me to outshine somebody like you," Rachel said softly.

Quinn struggled to keep her face composed even as she felt her body warm from Rachel's words. Did this girl honestly not realize the effect that her compliments had on the former cheerleader? It was absolutely amazing how Rachel could so casually turn her insides to jelly and not even realize it.

"You really have to stop putting yourself down, Rachel. You've had three boyfriends. You even had Blaine questioning his sexuality. You're getting married to the quarterback, for heaven's sake. And if it helps, you have very girly hands. Seriously, I think they're more feminine than mine. It's embarrassing."

Rachel smiled at her. It wasn't one of her usual megawatt Broadway smiles. This one was almost shy and made her look vulnerable yet happy at the same time. Quinn had seen this type of smile from Rachel before, but it never failed to make her heart beat faster.

"I'm glad that we're 'kind of' friends, Quinn," Rachel said, reaching out and grabbing her hands.

Quinn stared at their clasped hands then she said, "Rachel, I think under the circumstances that we can just drop the 'kind of' part."

The beaming smile she received this time somehow managed to surpass the previous one.

Yeah, one never knew what was going to happen in life. But even Quinn had to admit that she had been pulling some good chocolate pieces out of her box lately. She got into Yale. She got to see Beth again - yeah, she might have royally messed things up with Shelby but at least she got to see that her baby girl was healthy and happy. She discovered how much her friends in Glee cared about her. She finally got out of her own way and allowed herself to become friends with Rachel Berry.

Rachel's phone vibrated, and she released Quinn's hand to pull out her phone. Quinn's hand suddenly felt cold without the extra warmth around her fingers. Ugh, when had she become such a sap?

"We'll be done soon, Daddy. Yes, I'll pick up those noodles you like. Okay, I'll see you at home. Love you," Rachel said before she hung up and put her phone away.

"So we're leaving then?" Quinn asked. "Let me get changed and I'll be right out."

"Actually, before we go... can you help me put on my dress?" Rachel asked shyly.

Quinn discovered that it was possible to choke on her own saliva.

"Quinn?" Rachel said worriedly. Her hands hovered around Quinn, almost but not quite touching her.

Holding up a hand and taking a deep breath, Quinn got herself under control. Then she said, "I thought we were going to do the fitting next week."

Rachel clasped her hands together with a huge smile. She said, "I know, but I can't wait any longer! I just want to try it on for a few minutes. It's every girl's dream to wear a wedding dress. Come on, Quinn! It won't take very long. I promise."

Somehow, despite her better judgment, Quinn found herself holding a long, white gown open while a semi-naked Rachel walked toward her. The blonde girl felt extremely conflicted between the desire to be a good friend and the desire to ogle her good friend.

Yeah, if she hadn't realized that she was gay over the summer then this particular impulse probably would have clued her in...

As Rachel stepped into her dress and started pulling it up around her perfectly toned legs, Quinn struggled to come up with a topic for conversation that would keep Rachel from noticing how red her face must be.

"What happened to Kurt and the girls?" Quinn asked, finally noticing that the shop was strangely devoid of teenage voices.

Rachel shrugged. She replied, "Tina said that they were going to go plan my bachelorette party, but I have the sneaking suspicion that attending the shoe sale at Macy's was their true objective."

"And they didn't invite me?" Quinn asked with a mock pout.

"I wasn't about to allow all of my bridesmaids to wander off on me! How can a star shine if there is nobody around to watch and tell her how brightly she gleams?" Rachel said.

"So I'm basically here to fluff your ego," Quinn said dryly as she helped Rachel zip up the back of her dress. She was proud that her fingers didn't tremble at all in this task, but she had to deduct self-possession points as her fingers did linger for a bit on the olive skin of Rachel's back.

"You make that sound like a bad thing," Rachel said absently-mindedly as she looked at herself in the mirror and adjusted her dress.

Quinn rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help smiling as well. She didn't think she would ever get tired of Rachel's absolute lack of tact.

"How do I look?" Rachel asked, giving a playful over the shoulder look.

"Beautiful," Quinn replied honestly. Yet even as she admired Rachel's slim figure in her white satin and lace she couldn't help but feel that something wasn't quite right.

"Quinn, I can feel you holding something back," Rachel said. Her face fell. "I look horrible, don't I?"

Quinn sighed. She replied, "There is _nothing_ wrong with the way you look. It's just... this dress is not quite what I imagined you'd be wearing when you got married."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.

Quinn hesitated for a moment then she decided to say what was on her mind. After all, Rachel said that she wanted upfront and honest from her, right? So she said, "I just always figured that you'd be wearing one of those specially made dresses created by some big name fashion designer when you got married. You'd have a June wedding in New York, maybe in Central Park, and it would be an absurd spectacle with doves and ice sculptures and celebrity guests. It would be covered by E! and make those Royal weddings look like a cheap company potluck."

While Quinn was talking, Rachel had been staring at her with a soft smile on her face. Her eyes had sparkled when Quinn had mentioned New York. Then her smile faded and she looked away from Quinn. She said quietly, "Well, we all had fairy tale dreams like that when we were little. Sometimes, life turns out in unexpected ways. Dealing with that is part of becoming an adult. Finn is the love of my life. It doesn't marry where or how we get married as long as we're exchanging our vows together."

It was a beautiful and even noble sentiment, and it would have been more convincing if not for the strain on Rachel's face and the smile that doesn't reach her eyes. Quinn felt her body fill with a rage that she hadn't felt since Puck had told her that he had slept with Shelby.

"Who are you and what have you done with Rachel Berry?" Quinn snapped.

Rachel's eyes widened and she took a step back. "Wh-what?"

"When did you ever just accept what life had to offer you? Where's the girl who saw what she wanted and went for it with no hesitations or doubts?"

"I don't have doubts," Rachel replied quickly.

Quinn leveled her best HBIC look at the brunette as she said evenly, "Bullshit. You've lost confidence in yourself. You're terrified of what happens after high school, so you're latching onto what's safe and familiar. I get that. I've _lived _that. It would be different if you really wanted to get married. But you don't. You're settling for what you have now instead of gambling for a better tomorrow."

Rachel was openly gaping at her now, and Quinn could see the tears shimmering in her eyes. The former cheerleader grimaced at the sight. She didn't want to make Rachel cry. She had done enough of that for one lifetime, but she couldn't stop now.

"You shouldn't be getting married before you've even graduated high school and started your life. Or getting married in _Lima_ in an off the rack wedding dress!" Quinn cried. She had to stop to take a breath and blink back some tears herself.

"I hate seeing you like this," Quinn said quietly. "I'm not going to stand by and watch you ruin your life by marrying Finn Hudson!"

"I love him," Rachel whispered.

Quinn threw up her hands in frustration. She ignored the pang in her chest as she said, "Good for you. What does that have to do with getting married _now_? What's your hurry? Are your feelings for Finn so weak that you need a piece of paper to bind you two together? If that's the case, then that piece of paper is meaningless!"

"My feelings for Finn are not weak! I don't accept your premise that it is a sign of insecurity and weakness to marry one's high school sweetheart. Even if you were right, what's the big deal?" Rachel demanded. "If if doesn't work out then we'll just get divorced. All the big stars do it. It only makes them stronger. For example, Liza Minnelli-"

Quinn cut her off. She said, "No, that wouldn't happen. Finn would never divorce you, and you would never back out of a commitment like this. You're a romantic, Rachel. Even if you were miserable you would rather suffer tragically than admit that you made a mistake. Aside from that, how do you plan to focus on succeeding in NYADA and on Broadway when you'll also have to worry about propping up Finn, a boy who currently has no college or job prospects!"

"We can make it work," Rachel insisted weakly. "I won't say that it will be easy, but love is about making compromises. Sometimes, you have to put the other person first."

"At the expense of your dreams and everything else you care about? And what compromises has Finn made for you? The only one I see compromising here is you. That's how my mom was. Keeping my father happy was her entire life. Look where that got her."

"It's my life, Quinn. Why do you care so much?" Rachel asked. Her eyes bore into Quinn's, pleading for an explanation to help her understand.

Quinn wanted to run away from those eyes. How had she gotten to this point? She was supposed to be playing the supportive friend here. What was she supposed to say here? She supposed she could start with the truth. Or at least a portion of it.

"Because you've always cared about me," Quinn said as she sank down on a nearby bench. "When I was pregnant. Every time I tried to quit Glee. When I didn't become Prom Queen. When I went through my crazy psycho period. You were always there believing in me, trying to convince me that I'm a better person than I know. You... you made me want to be that better person."

Rachel carefully maneuvered her dress and sat down next to her. She asked softly, "My opinion of you matters that much?"

"I've always admired you, Rachel, even when I was trying to destroy you. Your determination. Your drive. No matter what anybody said or did to you, nobody could touch you. That used to irritate me so much because I _never _felt that way about myself. You can be annoying and bossy as hell, but you're strong and the most compassionate person I know."

Quinn locked her gaze on Rachel and said quietly, "You got suspended to help Kurt, and he was your NYADA competition! You care, Rachel. That's your greatest strength and your biggest weakness. Because you can't stand to see other people hurting, you hurt yourself trying to help them. You've given up solos for Mercedes just because she complains a little. You gave up your panties to Jacob Ben Israel just to protect _me_, your bully."

"You knew about that?" Rachel asked.

Quinn shrugged as she said, 'I heard him bragging about it to his loser friends. My point is that you're sacrificing yourself again. And for who? Finn Hudson! For a boy who constantly forgets that you're vegan and buys you a pig for Christmas. A boy who has never shown any real interest in your faith or your dreams and expects you to drop everything for his needs and his wants."

"Finn's a good guy!"

"I'm not disputing that," Quinn said even though she did dispute that characterization a little. Finn was not a malicious person and she could even overlook his dimness because he could be incredibly sweet at times, but there was no denying that his constant insensitivity and disregard for the feelings of others often made him a jackass.

A few sparks of empathy here and then didn't make up for all the times that he didn't even try to think about how his actions could affect others. Finn wasn't a bad guy. He was the guy who would have taken care of her and 'Drizzle.' He was also the guy who dumped her at a funeral. Quinn knew that she was no saint herself, but at least she was aware of how horrible a person she could be. Finn seemed to lack that self-awareness.

"But even you have to admit that he could treat you better. Rachel, Finn actually expected you to drop out of Regionals for him. There was no discussion of other options. No indication that he thought about how this would affect you or even the Glee club!"

Quinn let out a sigh of exasperation. She said, "I can understand worrying about reputation, but it looked like the idea that you might feel differently than he did literally never entered his mind. It makes me wonder if he really knows you at all or if he even cares to try."

"You're wrong about Finn. He said it was okay for me to compete!"

Quinn wanted to grab Rachel by the shoulders and shake her until she saw sense. She said, "You should have never been in a position where you had to get his permission in the first place! You really think Finn is the love of your life? No, he's a high school relationship. I'm going to be blunt here. You're better than Finn. At least who he is right now. Maybe when he's grown up a bit and you're both settled in your lives in the real world then you could talk about marriage. But not now. Not just because you're scared of being alone."

Rachel looked at her with pained eyes and tears streaming down her face. She said, "I guess I don't have your approval then."

"You don't," Quinn replied, trying and failing to keep her own tears from falling. The sight of Rachel once again hurting because of her words was almost more than she could bear.

"I'm still going to marry him, Quinn," Rachel said with an air of finality. She choked back a sob before saying, "And I don't want you at the ceremony if you're going to be like this."

Quinn had not expected any other outcome from this conversation, but the impact of Rachel's words still hurt her. Getting to her feet and gathering up the remains of her dignity, she said stiffly, "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You've never listened to me before. I don't see why this time should be any different."

Walking away from Rachel, she thought about the last time they had a conversation like this. Their discussion at the time had also centered around how Finn didn't belong in Rachel's future. Quinn smiled bitterly to herself. The only difference this time was that she was the one rushing out in tears.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

From the beginning when I first started watching _Glee_, I had always suspected that Rachel had something of a crush on Quinn, but I didn't really give it much thought after the whole Finchel thing started. I started reading _Glee_ fanfiction for the Brittana because they were the only _Glee_ relationship that I actually cared about. Then I started reading all the well-written and moving Faberry fanfics that made me realize that maybe it was _Quinn_ who had a thing for _Rachel_.

The most recent episodes of the third season of _Glee_ have surprised me with the increased Faberry subtext, and it's mainly because of the stellar acting work of Dianna Agron. Her facial expressions just scream unrequited love. I don't expect an actual Rachel/Quinn relationship from the show though. Maybe at best we'll see a one-sided love on Quinn's part. Take it from a Harry Potter/Hermione Granger shipper. All the subtext and logical reasons in the world means nothing to a creator's shipping preference. But we'll always have the world of fanfiction.

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><p><strong>Please review and tell me if you would like me to continue. Like Rachel Berry and Tinkerbell, I need applause to live!<strong>


	2. The Cheerleader and the Singer

**Our Year to Get It Right**

**-Chapter 2: The Cheerleader and the Singer-**

It felt strange to wear the Cheerios uniform again. There was nothing wrong with the outfit itself. Quinn could tell that the dress had recently been dry-cleaned and pressed. It was even the exact same uniform that she had worn the last two times she was on the squad because Sue Sylvester would be damned before she allowed her Cheerios to perform in anything that wasn't customized and tailored to each girl's individual body shape. It made it easier for their slightly insane coach to tell whether a girl had gained weight with a mere glance.

No, what was bothering Quinn was that she wasn't sure what the cheerleader uniform represented to her anymore. During her freshman and sophomore years, it had been a badge of popularity and a security blanket to protect her against her ugly duckling past. During junior year, it had been a symbol of everything she had lost and what she hoped to regain.

And now? She had meant it when she told Sue that she wanted to end her senior year on a strong note. Just as she had meant it when, after Sectionals, she had told the Troubletones that she wanted to make the rest of her high school career a memorable one. But donning the Cheerios attire again was more than a way to create new memories. It was a way to come to terms with her old ones.

Quinn may not be able to change the past, but she could use it as a reminder of how far she came and how much further she had to go.

Also, she would never admit this to anyone, but she had even missed Sue's insane exercise regimens. She suspected, however, that this would be a sentiment she would regret having very soon. Still, there was just something freeing and even joyful about pushing one's body and mind to the limit. There was satisfaction in perfecting a routine and being able to run through it without any wasted thought or motion. She missed the sense of peace that she could only get when she hit the wall of almost total exhaustion. It was at that moment when the endorphin rush hit when all her aches and pains would vanish and her mind would become blissfully quiet.

Quinn didn't experience many peaceful moments free of worries and anxieties anymore. Some mindless action might be good for relieving her stress. Her mind was much too jumbled these days. With thoughts about Yale and Beth and Rachel...

Quinn changed the direction of her thoughts with an ease that came from long practice. Yeah, it would be great to see Santana and Brittany again. She saw them all the time in Glee, of course, but it wasn't the same as being on the field together with them. It would be great to get the Unholy Trinity back together again. It would even be worth it to put up with the inevitable mocking that Santana would give her in retaliation for the way Quinn had made fun of her friends' decisions to return to being cheerleaders at the start of the year.

There was naturally going to be resentment from the other cheerleaders about her rejoining the squad so late in the year, but Quinn was kinda looking forward to showing that even though she had softened around the edges she still had claws. There was a reason that she had become the youngest Cheerios captain in McKinley history.

There would hopefully be less backstabbing and hateful glares this time around though, but if it came then it wouldn't be because Quinn initiated it. She was on Cheerios to cheer and to aim for a Nationals victory. She had no interest in participating in any childish games of bullying and intimidation. It was amazing what a few years of perspective gave a person. How on earth had she ever thought it was funny to watch someone who hadn't even done anything get slushied and ridiculed?

Besides, Rachel thought of her as a good person now and she wasn't going to risk doing anything to endanger their growing friendship.

Quinn bit her lip in agitation. At least Rachel _had_ thought of her as a good person. Who knew what the future Broadway star thought of her now? The two of them hadn't had any problems during Glee rehearsals or during their Regionals performance, but that may have just been Rachel putting on a professional face. They hadn't had a real discussion since the incident in the dress shop, and Quinn had been afraid to disturb the tenuous peace between them.

"Hey, Fabray. Looking good!" Blaine said cheerfully as he and Kurt walked past her down the hall hand in hand.

"Thanks, boys," Quinn replied with a smile. "Catch you later."

Her smile faded a bit as she saw that Kurt hadn't even given her a second glance. Kurt was a little uncomfortable around her these days, and she had to admit that she was still a little annoyed with him. They would both get over it, but some time apart would probably be good. She honestly loved Kurt like a brother, but his words that she didn't know anything about true hardships had been out of line. Maybe she should show him the Facebook comments that _she _had gotten in her sophomore year. 'Hypocritical slut' had been one of the nicer epithets thrown her way.

Was it any surprise that she spent junior year trying to get out of Loser town? It had been the desire to prove all of her detractors wrong and show them that she wasn't destined to be a Lima Loser that had gotten through those horrible nine months. She hadn't given any real thought to suicide because she had been too focused on getting revenge on everyone who had treated her like a pariah for a mistake that could have easily happened to any of the sneering hypocrites in her social circle.

Because Quinn Fabray had literally lost blood, sweat, and tears to become someone who would not be looked down upon by others. A teen pregnancy was not going to stop her from getting back what she had rightfully earned. Granted, she had gone a bit overboard on trying to claw her way back to the top of the social heap, and she wondered how much of that stemmed from her desire to be popular again and how much from her unresolved issues with giving her daughter away.

Fortunately, by the end of junior year, she had gotten over caring about what people thought about her. Unfortunately, she had done that by going in the complete opposite direction and becoming a Skank. In hindsight, that had been a rather stupid idea, but there had been something quite liberating about not giving a damn and doing whatever she wanted.

Then Rachel had tracked her down and told her she missed seeing Quinn in Glee, and Quinn suddenly realized that being a pink-haired, chain-smoking, rebellious bitch was not who she was or even who she wanted to be. Quinn sometimes thought that even if Shelby hadn't shown up she would have ended up back in Glee club again anyway just to see Rachel. Because she was apparently a masochist.

Quinn was so lost in her thoughts that she almost didn't recognize the back of Rachel's coat that suddenly appeared before her. Before she could talk herself out of it, she called out, "Hey."

Rachel stopped and turned around with a curious look.

Quinn smiled and said playfully, "How do I look? Coach Sylvester gave it to me earlier, and I couldn't resist."

A part of her berated herself for fishing for a compliment so blatantly, but the rest of her really wanted Rachel to tell her once again how beautiful she was. For some reason, those words had always meant more coming from her than from anyone else. Maybe it was because when Rachel called her beautiful it wasn't only a reference to her outward appearance.

Rachel smiled back at her then she replied, "Well, I'm glad you're happy. Everyone deserves to be happy."

Rachel's words sounded sincere and Quinn was happy that the girl didn't seem to be bearing a grudge against her, but she was a little disappointed that Rachel had dodged the question.

Quinn suddenly also wondered if Rachel was subtly trying to make a point about how Quinn should support what made Rachel happy (i.e., marrying Finn) just like Rachel was supporting her decision to become a Cheerio again because it would make her happy. That was possible, but Rachel Berry wasn't generally known for being subtle.

An awkward silence had fallen over them, and Quinn struggled for a change of topic. She said, "So the wedding is still set for after Nationals, right?"

"Of course," Rachel replied with a confused expression.

"I heard from Mercedes that you were thinking of talking to Finn about moving the wedding to right after Regionals," Quinn said. She carefully kept her voice neutral, not giving away how she felt about the prospect one way or another.

Rachel gave a forced laugh. Her eyes shifting to the side, Rachel replied, "I don't know what Mercedes is talking about. Trying to have a wedding on such short notice would be simply crazy."

Quinn sighed. "Rachel..."

Rachel's shoulders slumped as she gave up the pretense. She said, "Okay, in a fit of temporary insanity, I may have thought about moving back the wedding date again for the second time this month. It's just that after hearing about Karofsky's suicide attempt and thinking about how short life was and how everything can change in an instant, I thought it would be a good idea to just get married and get it out of the way."

"What changed your mind?" Quinn asked.

Rachel looked down at her feet. She said, "I started talking to Finn about the possibility of getting married after Regionals instead of waiting until the end of the school year, but then I kept hearing your voice in my head telling me that I never listen to you. And it's true. I reserve the right to make my own decisions, of course, but I don't want to feel like I'm being dismissive of your thoughts or make you feel that way either. A part of me still automatically rebels against taking your advice because of our prior history, and I hate that part of me.

It's not fair for even a small part of me to think of you like that. We're friends now, and I want you to know that I do trust you. You say that my opinion of you matters. Well, it goes both ways."

Quinn opened her mouth to respond but then closed it when she saw that Rachel was simply pausing to take a breath. She had to marvel at the other girl's ability to speak in paragraphs, and she had to wonder what had changed inside her to make the quality seem endearing rather than irritating.

"You had a point when you said that I was rushing things. Moving back the date after you pleaded with me to put more thought and deliberation into my decisions would make me seem like the immature child that you think I am. That's why... I'm going to move the wedding to the day after graduation. That still gives Finn and me the rest of the summer to get adjusted to our new marital status before we head for New York."

Quinn supposed that Rachel thought that this was a reasonable compromise. And, objectively speaking, it was. Rachel didn't have to make this type of concession about her love life for someone who just a friend. Rachel's gesture was meant to convey that although she hadn't changed her mind she still considered Quinn's feelings to be very important to her. Quinn really did appreciate that, but in the end, Rachel was still going to marry Finn.

"I really do want you at the wedding, Quinn, and I wanted to give to give you a chance to change your mind. We've been through so much together. It wouldn't be the same without you there."

Quinn felt a lump in her throat. Both of them knew that Quinn's thoughts on this issue hadn't changed, but Rachel still wanted her to attend the wedding. She recognized that the diva was giving her a peace offering and that this was the best she was going to get.

"When you were singing that song, you were singing it to Finn and only Finn. Right?"

Quinn resisted the urge to fidget as Rachel stared at her and gave her a very slight nod. She didn't know what in the world had prompted her to ask that question in that particular fashion. She might as well have a neon sign above her head stating that Quinn Fabray loved Rachel Berry.

"He really does make you so happy," Quinn said, and she was saying it to herself as much as she was saying it to Rachel. She gave a mental sigh then she forced a smile on her face before saying, "I want to support you, Rachel... and Finn, and come to the wedding, if it's not too late."

Rachel shook her head with a huge smile on her face and then she leaned forward and pulled Quinn into a hug. Quinn could almost imagine hearing her heart break, but Rachel's obvious happiness took away some of the sting. Quinn rested her chin on Rachel's shoulder and breathed in a whiff of her vanilla and lavender scented shampoo.

A wave of melancholy came over her. This was it. The wedding was going to happen. Oh, God. Why did this hurt so much? She had to hold it together. If she couldn't handle this then how could she stand to watch Rachel walk down the aisle and get _married_?

Her arms involuntarily squeezed even more tightly around the shorter girl. She had hoped to be able to stay in contact with Rachel in college and be the friend that the girl had always wanted her to be, but that seemed unlikely now. Rachel would have a husband to worry about.

She was never going to get the chance to even _try_ to get Rachel to see her in a romantic light. Not that she ever really thought that she had a shot at getting together with the shorter girl, but it had been a nice fantasy. Having regular Skype talks. Touring New York City and New Haven together. Slowly falling in love.

She had to let it go. She had to let all of it go. But... she couldn't.

_I know everyone expects us to be enemies and be in competition, but I don't hate you._

_You're a very pretty girl, Quinn. The prettiest girl I've ever met, but...you're a lot more than that._

_I'm sorry you're so sad, Quinn, and maybe you're not going to believe me because we were never really close, but I'm sad not seeing you in the choir room. And we've all been through so much together. We're a family, and this is our year to get it right._

_We're kind of friends, huh?_

_You're a lot better than you know._

Quinn had treasured every kind word Rachel had ever said to her because she could hardly believe that anyone, much less the girl she had terrorized for so long, could believe so strongly that she was not a fundamentally damaged person and was actually someone worth knowing.

Another memory of Rachel's voice came to her mind.

_I'm looking forward to being friends with all of you for the rest of my life._

Those last words had been directed to the Glee Club, but Rachel had been looking at Quinn when she said them. All Rachel had ever wanted out of her high school life was to have real friends. Quinn couldn't call herself a real friend to Rachel yet, but she could take the first step here. She could do what was best for Rachel.

This had nothing to do with getting Rachel for herself. This was about making sure that this girl, her friend, wouldn't ruin her life. She owed her that much. Rachel had always been there for her. It was time to return the favor.

This was her year to finally get it right.

Quinn pulled herself out of the hug with Rachel. The other girl actually looked a little disappointed at the loss of contact, but Quinn couldn't focus on that at the moment.

"I can't do it," Quinn announced. "I'm not coming to the wedding. If I had my way then there would be no wedding."

"What are you saying?" Rachel asked looking hurt.

Quinn steeled herself against Rachel's tearful gaze. She said, "I'm sorry! I know I just said that I would support you and Finn. I really do want to support your decision, but I can't. I don't think that I'm only one who feels this way, but I'm probably the only one willing to tell you that you would be making a mistake. You shouldn't marry Finn. Not now. Maybe not ever."

"I don't want to keep having the same argument," Rachel said hotly.

Quinn rolled over the other girl's attempt to interrupt her. She said, "You're marrying him for all the wrong reasons! You feel sorry for Finn because he can't make it out of Lima on his own. You see him as your leading man and your Prince Charming who you're fated to be with because you still live life like you're in a Disney musical!"

The cheerleader slumped her body against the lockers and said quietly, "And you're marrying Finn because you think nobody else will ever love you and you were lucky to even get someone as good as Finn who may not be perfect but at least loves you. You never believed that anybody could really love you. And that's my fault."

"Don't give yourself so much credit," Rachel snapped. "I was an outcast long before you moved to Lima. Part of that was due to having two gay dads, which says more about the people in this school than about me, but the social ostracizing was mostly because of who I am. Everybody says it. I'm selfish, controlling, and needy. When people say to be yourself, they mean unless you're Rachel Berry. I want people to like me too much. I can't stop myself from driving people away even when I know that I'm being insufferable."

Rachel wiped her face with the back of her hand. She said angrily, "I'm lonely and I'm scared of what the future may bring. Is that what you want to hear from me, Quinn?"

"Rachel…"

The look of despair on Rachel's face made Quinn want to cry. Her heart sank hearing the way that Rachel thought about herself. And while Rachel may not blame Quinn for her low opinion of herself, Quinn knew that her past actions could not have helped.

"Rachel, you can't use Lima as the benchmark for how people will treat you in the future. This is a small town in the middle of nowhere that is filled with ignorant and horrible people. It's not the world. I also think you underestimate your ability to win people over. Kurt _hated _you. Now he's your best friend. Look at Mercedes. Look at _me_."

Rachel was shaking her head. She replied, "That was because of Glee Club. Glee Club made me a better person, but it won't be the same in New York. I'm going into a very cutthroat industry and everyone is going to see me as competition rather than a potential friend and they're not going to take the time to know me like you guys have. And it took _two years_ before the members of New Directions really liked having me around."

"Is that what you're worried about? That you won't be able to make new friends? Rachel, look at the friends you have now. It wasn't because of your voice," Quinn insisted. "It was because you finally relaxed and we were able to see the funny, caring, sweet person that you are."

The brunette gave a tiny sniffle and looked at her with a watery smile. She said, "It is true that I have friends now, but how many of them will I really stay in contact with? Kurt's coming to New York with me, but why would he want to talk to me when he can hang out with more sophisticated, better dressed people? You're friends with me now, but how long will that last once you're at Yale and finally able to leave all your bad memories behind?"

"You are insane if you think that I'm really going to forget about you now that I've gotten to see how amazing you really are."

"I appreciate your kind words, Quinn. I really do. I don't have such poor self-esteem that I can't recognize the positive traits I have aside from my talent, but my experience in life tells me that people won't give me the chance to prove what a great friend I can be unless they're forced to be around me. Like with Glee club. I know you think I'm being irrational, and maybe I am, but I can't help but feel afraid. I'm about to start trying for everything I've ever dreamed about and I'm terrified that I'm going to fail.

"Everyone tells me that I'm talented, and maybe that's true here in Ohio, but New York must have hundreds of singers better than me. Finn will leave me when he sees that I'm nothing special. Then I'll be alone. And I can't go back to the way it was before I found acceptance in Glee club. I just can't."

Rachel was literally shaking now, and Quinn pulled Rachel into a hug without a second thought. Coach Sylvester would go ballistic if she saw the stains that Rachel's tears were making on her uniform, but Quinn didn't care.

The shorter girl mumbled into Quinn's chest, "Without my voice, I'm just the weird kid. And people don't even hate the weird kid. They just ignore them, and I couldn't bear that. Negative attention is better than no attention at all."

Quinn had a sudden insight on why Rachel had tried so hard to stand out in high school. With her unfashionable clothing, loud and pushy personality, and her bossy know-it-all ways, she had made it almost possible to ignore her. Everyone had always figured that Rachel was too arrogant and clueless to realize that she was being annoying, but she was really just afraid of being invisible.

"It was a miracle that I have friends now at all. And I don't know if I could do it again. If I can find people who like me for me… or if I can find another person to love me."

Quinn couldn't help but hear an echo of her own words from last year when she was in New York City. She had screamed at Santana and Brittany that she just wanted someone to love her. She knew exactly where Rachel was coming from.

"You are incredibly special," Quinn said softly as she ran her fingers through Rachel's hair in a comforting way. "Why don't you understand how wonderful you are? Maybe it takes some time to get past your shell but once they do, people can't help but love you."

Rachel gave a sharp, disbelieving laugh. She said, "Really? I don't exactly have the best track record with relationships. Puck dumped me after a week. Jesse loves himself the most, and he threw me aside the instant it became inconvenient to be with me. Even Finn can't seem to make up his mind who he loves. He loves me right now but..."

"So you're going to marry Finn to keep him from leaving you," Quinn said tonelessly.

Rachel pulled herself away from Quinn. She couldn't meet Quinn's eyes as she said, "Finn was my first real friend. He loves me and I don't understand why sometimes. He's not perfect, but he does try. He does."

Rachel wrapped her arms around herself like she was hugging herself. She said, "You're right though. I do want to tie him to me. When I come home from failing another audition, I want someone who believes in me and loves me to tell me that everything will be okay. Oh, God, that makes me a horrible person, doesn't it?"

"No, it doesn't," Quinn said kindly. "People have married for worse reasons. But, Rachel, tell me honestly. If it weren't for your fears and insecurities, would you _want_ to marry Finn?"

Rachel stared at her for a long moment then she stammered, "I…I don't know."

Quinn drew herself closer to Rachel then she leaned down so their faces lined up and she could look the other girl in the eyes. She said, "If you really want to marry Finn then don't let my opinion affect you, but I don't want you to settle because you're afraid. You deserve better than that. There's somebody out there who will love you for everything you are."

"Who is that person, Quinn? Who?" Rachel demanded.

"Me."

The word slipped out of Quinn's mouth almost without conscious volition, but once it was out there Quinn found that she didn't want to take it back. The secret that she had been holding on for so long was finally out there. Rachel deserved to know this even if it meant that Rachel didn't want to be around her anymore.

Quinn lifted her gaze from the floor. She had half-expected to see an expression of anger or disgust on Rachel's face but all she saw was confusion and the compassion that had always been in Rachel's eyes whenever she looked at her.

That was enough to give her the strength to keep talking. Quinn said, "You're not weak and I hate when you act like you are. You're the strongest person I know. That's what I love about you. You're the girl who took everything I threw at you then forgave me for it. You've stopped me from ruining my life so many times. You have a beautiful voice, but that's not why I have feelings for you. It's because you also have a beautiful heart. I love how excited you get over the smallest things, how you can almost always look on the bright side, and the way you refuse to change yourself to fit in with the other morons around here. You're like the complete opposite of me, but somehow we get along. Maybe that's why I like you so much."

Rachel was openly staring at her with mouth agape. Her jaw closed with an audible click before she stammered, "I don't know what to say... I never expected-"

Quinn put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow to silently communicate the message that she wasn't finished talking.

Rachel fell silent.

Quinn stared at her critically. Rachel didn't seem afraid or angry. She just seemed to be in shock. But she was listening.

In a soft, gentle voice, Quinn said, "I don't expect you to feel the same. That's not why I'm saying this. I just thought you should know that out of all the jocks and popular kids in this school, _you_ were the one who managed to thaw 'ice queen' Quinn Fabray. I want you to think of that whenever you're feeling like you can't do anything or that nobody cares about you. I want you to remain the strong, confident woman that I fell in love with. You don't need to change to be loved. You're more than _you_ know. Don't ever forget that."

Quinn didn't wait for Rachel to reply. She had said what she needed to say. Her skirt fluttered around her as she smartly turned on her heel and walked away with her head held high.


	3. The Beauty and the Gleek

**Our Year to Get It Right**

**-Chapter 3: The Beauty and the Gleek-**

_2011 Junior Prom - Lima, Ohio_

"I really am sorry that I slapped you. It's probably going to bruise. How are you going to explain this to your dads?" Quinn asked miserably.

She really wished that Rachel would leave and let her stew in her guilt. There was just something incredibly wrong about being comforted by the person who had every reason in the world to hate her. Why was it always this girl who caught her in her most vulnerable moments?

"Nothing a little makeup can't cover up," Rachel replied as she examined her face in the restroom mirror. "I also have a regimen that should speed up the healing process quite nicely."

"You have a regimen for dealing with _bruises_?" Quinn asked, horrified. Her mind flickered to the thought of Rachel's fathers but she instantly rejected that idea. The Berry men were the sweetest men she had ever met and she would sooner believe that Lord Tubbington really did smoke cigarettes than believe that they would ever harm their daughter.

So that left the school bullies. But she would have noticed if the bullying of Rachel had ever progressed beyond name-calling and slushies. She had paid extremely close attention to Rachel and anything she could use as ammunition against her, such as her clothes, her hairstyles, her class schedule, her extracurricular activities...

It was actually a little embarrassing now that she thought about how obsessed she was with the Berry girl.

"It's not what you're thinking," Rachel replied. "I have a cream that I use whenever I get bumps and scrapes in my dance classes. I know that my grace and poise seems natural and effortless, but I assure you that these traits came after years of pratfalls and twisted ankles. Such is the price of fame."

Quinn felt a little silly for immediately jumping to the worst conclusion, but she felt extremely unsettled. She had never lost control like this before. Had becoming Prom Queen really meant that much to her? And how shallow was she being when her friends Kurt and Santana were hurting right now for much better reasons than she was?

Her eyes were drawn to Rachel's face. Despite what the brunette said, Quinn could see the outline of a swelling. She asked softly, "Does it hurt?"

Rachel gave her a faint smile. She said, "A little bit. But it's okay. I know that you didn't mean to hurt me."

Looking into Rachel's bright, forgiving eyes, Quinn suddenly felt about an inch tall. She had hurt this girl so many times, and Rachel had never even done anything to deserve it. Yeah, there was the whole try to steal Finn away from her deal during sophomore year, but it wasn't like Rachel had owed her anything. And it had still been this girl who had reached out to her when all of her so-called friends had left her by the wayside.

Quinn felt this insane urge to reach out and pull the other girl into a hug. She firmly squashed it. She was already coming off as unstable and there was no need to add to that impression. Besides, would the brunette even be receptive to getting a hug from her former bully? She had just slapped the girl, for God's sake! The girl would probably flinch if Quinn even made a move in her direction.

A sickening thought suddenly occurred to her.

Had Rachel ever been terrified of her in their younger years of high school? Had she spent her days wondering when the Head Cheerio would snap and go Chris Brown on her? Quinn would never have resorted to physical violence against Rachel and she would have killed anyone who thought about it but did Rachel know that? Quinn felt sick that maybe Rachel had seen her the way Kurt used to see Karofsky.

What was it like to be Rachel Berry during their freshman and sophomore years? How did she get up in the morning and go to school when she _knew_ that nobody liked her, that her clothes would inevitably get ruined, and that her torment would never end?

Quinn had never wondered about this before. She had ignored the past and pretended that it had never happened. She told herself that she wasn't that person anymore, but that wasn't true. She was still the girl who sold out her friends for popularity and cheated on her boyfriends just to make herself feel better. She was the girl who ruined Rachel's life.

"I have hurt you so much," Quinn whispered.

"No!" Rachel yelled. She quickly turned to face Quinn. "I can see what you're thinking, and I want you to stop. You were not responsible for my being an outcast. I was ostracized long before you came to Lima for having two gay dads and for being too opinionated and outspoken. The slushy tradition wasn't started by you or even Puck. I would have been targeted sooner or later. It's not like you were my only bully."

"No, I wasn't," Quinn said. "But don't try to pretend that I wasn't the worst. Did your other bullies stalk your Myspace page or draw pornographic pictures of you on the stalls?"

Rachel looked away.

Quinn had to force the bile back down her throat. Maybe Rachel didn't hate her, but there was no way that the girl didn't at least resent her a little bit for picking on her for no good reason. And Quinn couldn't blame her for it. Quinn asked in a hoarse voice, "Were you ever afraid that the bullying would escalate? That what happened to Kurt would happen to you?"

Rachel shook her head. She said, "It was hard coming to school, but I was never in fear of violence from the Neanderthals that populate this school. Even though slushies are not on the school board's list of suspension-worthy offenses –an oversight that my dads and I have tried to petition to change every year- physical violence is. People may not have liked me, but nobody hated me enough to risk getting expelled. And as much as I deplore double standards they were beneficial to me in this case because I knew that the jocks wouldn't really harm me as I was a girl. And the girls typically preferred a more hands off approach when it came to their games. I tried to think of my suffering as training for when I became famous and would have to deal with the paparazzi and jealous competitors-"

Quinn interrupted, "Rachel. Breathe. I don't need you passing out on me."

That actually got a small smile out of the diva. Then she said, "To answer your real question... no, I was never scared of you. You could be cruel and hurtful, but I never thought of you as someone who would give me a reason to be really scared of you."

"I'm... glad that you weren't scared of me," Quinn said. And she really was. She had often been frustrated by the other girl's refusal to be intimidated by her, but she always had a grudging respect for that strength.

"I wouldn't be here if I was," Rachel responded with a small shrug.

"You know, I never said that I was sorry for all of that. And I am, you know. Sorry, I mean," Quinn said awkwardly. The apology felt strange on her tongue. Quinn Fabray was not someone who apologized for her actions. But Lucy was such a person. And, sometimes, it wasn't bad to be reminded that she used to be such a person.

"You didn't have to apologize. It's enough to know that you've changed," Rachel said.

Quinn actually felt a little frustrated by Rachel's nonchalant answer. She asked, "Why are you so nice to me? Your ex-boyfriend and your prom date gets kicked out and your first instinct is to chase after _me_? Maybe I never punched you in the face, but that doesn't mean that I didn't scar you. I don't know why you're wasting your time. You say that I'm more than a pretty face. How do you know that?"

"I just do," Rachel replied simply, and she said it in such a matter-of-fact way that Quinn couldn't help feeling touched.

"Really? That's all you got? I was expecting your typical dissertation-length explanation. Maybe with a PowerPoint presentation," Quinn teased.

"Well, I do have a sixth sense about these things," Rachel said with mock seriousness.

Quinn found herself sharing a laugh with Rachel, and she had to marvel how natural it felt.

"I do have my reasons though. Maybe I'll tell you what they are some day, but I think we've gotten a little too serious in this discussion," Rachel said.

"Fair enough," Quinn replied.

"Are you going to go home now?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, I think so. It's been a pretty horrible night, and I just want to go home and let all of this fade into a bad memory," Quinn said.

"Don't."

Quinn raised a questioning eyebrow.

Rachel reached out with her hand. "Come on, Quinn. Do you really want to leave our prom at 9 pm? I say the best way to counter bad memories is by making better ones. Be my date for the night."

Quinn stared at Rachel's hand for a moment then gave a mental shrug. Oh, what the hell.

"Okay, we can have one dance. But I am _not_ taking my prom picture with you," Quinn said.

Rachel rolled her eyes and waved her hand. "Fine."

The night had already gotten ridiculous and her reputation was probably already shot again anyway, so she might as well stop worrying about looking silly and just have some fun with Rachel and the Glee Club. Besides, maybe if she had one dance with Rachel then maybe Santana would get off her cowardly ass and dance with Brittany. Girls danced together all the time and nobody cared, right?

"Maybe we should get you some ice first," Quinn said with a smirk as she reached out and took Rachel's waiting hand. It felt nice. Really nice.

Quinn recognized that something important had happened here, that something had changed between her and Rachel, but she didn't know what that thing was or what it meant. She wasn't going to worry about it though. Because at the end of the day, she was still the Head Cheerio and popular girl and Rachel was still... Rachel Berry. And they had no reason to interact outside of Glee Club. This strange 'not quite friends and not quite enemies' relationship between her and Rachel should be back to normal by tomorrow.

For some reason, Quinn was a little saddened by that thought.

* * *

><p><em>2011 Nationals - New York City, New York<em>

"Do you think I cut it too short?" Quinn asked as she examined her new hairstyle in the salon mirror.

'Nah, it looks great," Santana replied absently, not even looking up from the magazine she was flipping through.

"Santana!"

The dark-haired girl looked up with a smirk. She said, "You look fine, blondie. You got one of those faces where you'd look good even if you stuck that mop on the top of your head in a bucket of pink paint. And you also don't look like a lesbian, which is what you're really worried about. Don't be. You would need to use a few more inches off your 'do before you got into butch or Ellen territory."

"I was not worried about _that_," Quinn said stiffly.

"Can you really call her blondie, Santana?" Brittany asked with a worried look as she gazed at the shelf of hair coloring products. "Lauren was saying that Quinn isn't really a toehead. I don't know why it's a good thing to have a head shaped like a toe, but Lauren was talking in her mean voice when she said you weren't one, so I defended Quinn and said that her head was so toe-shaped!"

Quinn was about to explain that Lauren had probably said 'towhead' and that she was not actually making a comment about the shape of her head when she caught the twinkle in Brittany's eyes. She knew then that the other blonde had gotten her and all Quinn could do was laugh.

Not everyone appreciated Brittany's unique sense of humor and her ability to say outrageous things with an absolutely straight face. She may not have had book smarts but she had a quick wit. It was unfortunate that so few people properly appreciated it because they either thought that Brittany was a space cadet or that she was on drugs. To be fair, some of Brittany's random comments did stem from her living in another world inside her head much of the time but just as many came about because she enjoyed messing with people. And the scary thing was that there was usually no way to tell the difference.

Unless you were Santana, of course, or Quinn to a lesser degree. Quinn had seen Brittany act too cogently and emotionally mature too many times when they were by themselves to ever completely buy her cuckoolander act.

"Yeah, what was up with that poster that wrestler bitch put up?" Santana asked as the three of them walked out of the salon. "It was obviously shopped so I didn't pay much attention to it. But I heard that you ran away from it the same way that Miss Pillsbury does whenever she sees a piece of gum stuck to the floor outside her office."

"I really think you should stop leaving your gum there," Brittany said with a frown.

"Well, that particular picture of me was photoshopped, but I really was chubby and had nerdy glasses when I was younger. My hair was a little darker than now, but it wasn't auburn like Lauren had it because of a little thing called genetics," Quinn said with a roll of her eyes.

"What about the nose job rumor?" Santana asked.

Quinn shifted her weight uneasily as she said, "I had to get surgery for my deviated septum anyway, so I convinced my dad that I might as well get some work done while the doctors were up there. It's amazing what a lot of money can accomplish."

"What's with the red face? So you had a little work done. Big deal," Santana said with a shrug.

"I can see why you'd think that way," Quinn teased with a quick glance at Santana's chest.

Santana puffed up her chest and leered at Quinn. She said, "If you wanted a look, all you had to do was ask."

Quinn felt her cheeks grow warm. She said lamely, "Like silicone is such a turn-on."

"Works for Pamela Anderson. Seriously though, you shouldn't feel bad about getting a nose job. People are such hypocrites about cosmetic surgery. Nobody would rag on you for not being a fattie anymore or getting contacts but somehow everything's different if there's a scalpel involved? Screw that. If there's something about yourself you don't like then there's no shame in changing it."

Brittany suddenly cut in with a soft, serious tone. She said, "But, sometimes, you have to realize that there was nothing wrong with you in the first place and that you're awesome just the way you are."

Quinn and Santana looked at each other. A rainbow of emotions ran over the Latina's face from chagrin to remorse before settling on a gentle fondness as she turned to look at Brittany.

"Ooh! A pet shop!" Brittany shouted in glee as they passed a window with puppies and kittens behind it. In one graceful maneuver, the blonde dancer went through the doorway and left two bemused girls standing outside staring after her.

"You have a smart girlfriend," Quinn said and she didn't bother masking the envy in her voice. It must be nice to be loved like that.

"She's not my-" Santana began then she stopped. She seemed to struggle for a moment with something inside her before her face relaxed and she said, "But I wish she was."

Quinn looked at her friend with concern. She said, "Brittany will come around. You two belong together."

Santana made a noncommittal noise as the two of them walked into the pet store. As they watched Brittany play with a puppy, Santana said quietly, "Enough about my problems. Today is supposed to be about you, Q. Look, I know we've been pretty crappy friends to each other. I abandoned you when you were pregnant to save my own rep, and you ratted me out to Sylvester to rebuild yours. But we're still friends. You know why? Because we get each other. We're both shallow, vindictive bitches who both kinda wish that we didn't have to be like this."

Quinn couldn't argue with that.

"So tell Auntie Tana the truth from one bitch to another. Earlier, you were saying that you just wanted someone to love you. Were you just talking in general or about someone specifically?"

Quinn narrowed her eyes. She asked, "What are you getting at?"

Santana crossed her arms and stared back with an unintimidated look. She said, "I just can't imagine you being so mopey about being dumped by Finn 'Custard Nipples' Hudson. I don't know how your sick, twisted relationship worked, but I didn't see a whole lot of love there. The only reason you kept going back to him was because he was comfortable and familiar like an old, smelly pair of sneakers that you can't just throw away. You tell me if I'm wrong here, Q."

When Quinn didn't respond, Santana continued, "If all you wanted was for someone to love you then you would have stayed with Sam. Yeah, he's a geek and his mouth should have its own zip code, but he was popular, easy on the eyes, and really seemed to like you. He's not seeing anyone right now and you guys are friends again. By the way, what is it with you and babysitting? Anyway, you don't want Sam or you would have done something by now. And don't even try to tell me that you want Puck. He was a hookup of convenience at best."

"I'm still not seeing your your point here. All you've proven is that I haven't met the right guy yet," Quinn said, trying to sound bored.

"Maybe I'm saying it's not a guy you want at all," Santana said.

"Not everyone is gay!" Quinn snapped.

"No, they're not," Santana said quietly.

Quinn turned her head away from Santana's knowing gaze. She said stiffly, "Is this because I said I'm not _that_ into that? That was a joke."

"Okay. I'm just saying that you're the only girl I know who couldn't care less about her boyfriends and that's saying something coming from _me_. Hell, you've shown more passion in your fights with Berry than any of them-"

"Don't. Please stop," Quinn pleaded.

Santana hesitated for a moment then she said, "Look, I'm not trying to pin a label on you. I hate that shit too. If I'm wrong then whatever. I just don't want you to make the same mistakes that I did. Just think about it."

So that's what Quinn did. She spent the rest of the afternoon in the hotel room thinking about it. The fact that she spent so much time considering this possibility was probably an indication itself that she was not as certain about her sexual orientation as she thought. Still, the concept was too big for her to think about so easily.

She tried breaking down the question of whether she was gay into something simpler. Did she like men? Well, she did like having the McKinley boys chase after her. That made her feel beautiful, wanted, and validated. All the things that Lucy had been denied. But was she interested in making out or fooling around with any of them? Not really.

Kissing could be fun at times, but she never thought it was as big a deal as so many of her friends made it out to be. In the past, she had figured that she just had a low sex drive. That was the only way she had found to explain why it seemed like she was the only Cheerio who took Celibacy Club seriously. She had regarded the other girls' obsessions with boys as a sign of weakness in their characters and a lack of self-control. She was a good Christian who didn't sully her mind with dirty thoughts. Yet... Sam and Mercedes and many of her friends were also 'good Christians' and that didn't stop them from being fascinated with getting together with the opposite sex.

She wasn't getting anywhere with this. Time to rephrase the question. Was she interested in girls? Quinn could admit that she found the female form pleasing. Who didn't? Even gay guys could appreciate the aesthetic qualities of a beautiful woman. With the way that women were constantly bombarded by media images of sexy women and messages about the desirability of beautiful women it was a wonder that not all women were at least a little gay. Not that Quinn was gay.

Yeah, she sometimes found herself staring at the other girls in the locker room, but that was for comparison purposes and wanting to be like them. It wasn't because she wanted to be _with_ them! Right?

Quinn caught Brittany and Santana in compromising positions all the time and she had always reacted with horror. A point in the straight column! But... if she was being completely honest with herself she'd have to admit that horror had more to do with the situation of catching her best friends in a private moment than with whatever they were actually doing to each other. And maybe she would sometimes feel a little funny and mildly curious about what she was seeing but every adolescent had some interest in sexual matters. Just because the only times she got any real interest in the subject were when two women were involved didn't mean...

Oh, Jesus. She was totally gay.

Quinn put her hands over her eyes and groaned. This kinda sucked. As if her life wasn't already hard enough. And none of this even helped with her original problem of loneliness! She knew that as a self-sufficient 21st century woman she didn't need anyone else to be happy, but it would still be nice to have someone to care about her and support her through her good times and her crazy times. Someone who believed in her and wanted to make her happy...

_The door behind her opened and a few moments later a pair of slim, feminine arms had wrapped themselves around her torso. Quinn put down her crossword puzzle and turned around to smile at the short, cute brunette holding her in her arms..._

"Hey, Quinn."

Quinn woke up with a start. She didn't remember falling asleep. She groggily opened her eyes only to see two warm, brown eyes staring down at her.

"I'm sorry to wake you from your sleep, but everyone was going to go down to the pool and Santana insisted that I wake you up. I wanted to ask her why she couldn't do it herself, but she had already walked away."

Santana had clearly jumped to a warped and twisted idea about Rachel's importance to Quinn, and Quinn wanted to be mad about it, but she was too busy staring at Rachel's lips. They had never been that close to her before. Rachel still hadn't moved from her position of leaning over her, so that gave Quinn a chance to explore the other girl's face with her eyes. It really was beautiful. She couldn't understand why Rachel was so insecure about her nose. Maybe it wasn't small like hers but somehow it fitted Rachel's face and Quinn couldn't imagine her face looking any other way.

Okay, dangerous line of thought.

Quinn slowly sat up and Rachel moved so that she was sitting next to Quinn on the bed. The blonde girl noticed that the other girl was wearing a two-piece white swimsuit that had black polka dots on it. Quinn suddenly found that she couldn't breathe.

"Is there something wrong with my swimwear?" Rachel asked looking down at herself with a worried expression.

"It's fine. I'm just surprised that it's not made of argyle," Quinn said quickly with a forced smile.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Ha ha. Very funny."

Quinn told herself to pull it together. Just because she was apparently gay and had never seen Rachel Berry in a bikini before didn't mean she had to get weird about this. It wasn't like Rachel was the first attractive woman in a swimsuit she'd ever seen after all. But her eyes couldn't stop flickering over to the shorter girl's toned stomach. She knew that Rachel worked out every day but _damn..._

"I wanted to talk to you about Finn."

Quinn's face suddenly tightened and the small smile that had been on her face vanished. She said, "Really. You want to talk about Finn. With me."

Rachel looked down at her hands. She said in a small voice, "I thought you should hear it from me first, but Finn tried to kiss me last night."

"Congratulations," Quinn said in a voice devoid of emotion. For some reason, she didn't even feel angry. She just felt curiously empty.

"It's not like that," Rachel said with clear desperation on her face. "I stopped him. Not only because of my dreams for New York but because it wouldn't have been fair to you. You two had _just _broken up and-"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me," Quinn said in that same dead tone. "All's fair in love and war, right?"

"I told you that it's not like that! I wasn't trying to steal him from you. Finn had made it quite clear that he wanted to be with you, and I respected that. Now he changes his mind and just expects me to go along with it even though this came right out of the blue-"

The sight of Rachel's anguished face caused Quinn to soften a little. She asked gently, "Do you want to be with Finn?"

"I don't know," Rachel said miserably. "I thought I did but after everything that's happened... Kurt and I went to the Gershwin theater last night and he asked me what I would choose if I had to pick between love and Broadway. I picked Broadway. It hurts a little, but my dreams have always come first."

"So why are you telling me this?" Quinn asked.

Rachel lifted her head and looked Quinn in the eyes. She said, "Because you've seemed so sad lately. And I would hate it if I was in any way a contributing cause of that."

With the way that Rachel stared at her with such caring eyes, Quinn could easily understand why Finn had fallen for Rachel. Anyone would.

"Thank you," Quinn replied with a relaxed smile. "You're going to have a bright future, Rachel."

"So are you," Rachel said. Her voice was full of confidence and left no room for doubt.

Quinn ended up going down to the pool with Rachel and spent the evening laughing and splashing around with her friends. Maybe her life wasn't so bad after all.

That feeling of optimism and resolve to create a new start on life lasted until the next day. More precisely, it lasted until the moment that Finn and Rachel locked lips on stage.

Something inside her cracked at that moment.

* * *

><p><em>2012 Present Day - Lima, Ohio<em>

"Do you really think it's a good idea to miss another day of school, Quinnie?" Judy asked. She stood in the doorway of Quinn's bedroom with a frown on her face. "You've been absent for three days now and you've already missed so many days this year already."

Quinn didn't even look up from the book she was reading as she lied in her bed. She replied, "And yet I managed to get accepted into Yale. I think my future is secure."

Her mother hesitated for a moment then she came into the room and sat down on the edge of Quinn's bed. She said, "Is there something you want to talk about?"

"_Now_ you want to talk to me?" Quinn asked, raising her eyebrow in disbelief. "Where was this show of concern a few months ago?"

"That's not fair," Judy said with hurt in her voice. "You said that you wanted a chance to find yourself. You said that you were tired of trying to live up to the image of what you thought your father and I wanted you to be. So I gave you the space I thought you needed."

Quinn looked away. Her mother was right. She had asked for space to try to become her own person and to deal with the self-discoveries that had woken inside her in New York. But what she had really wanted was for someone to tell her that everything would be okay. She had felt so angry and alone...

Quinn supposed that she couldn't completely blame her mother for not noticing her inner turmoil. It had been a rough summer for the both of them with the finalizing of the divorce and the start of addiction treatment for her mother. But there was still a childish part of her that wanted her mother to simply know how bad she was feeling without having to have it spelled out to her first.

Wasn't that what was going on right now though? Her mother was actually trying to reach out to her. She shouldn't just ignore her.

The blonde girl looked over at her mother and said, "I told a girl at school that I had feelings for her."

"Oh."

"_Oh,_" Quinn mimicked with a roll of her eyes. "Is that all you have to say? I thought you were okay with my being gay."

"I _am_ okay with it. Give me some credit, dear. I know it's hard to believe, but I do have my own opinions. I'm just surprised that you were able to do something like that. You've never been very open with your feelings. That's probably my fault."

Quinn shrugged. She said, "I surprised myself. I never intended to tell her how I felt. I would gone my whole life without saying anything, but she needed to know that somebody cared about her."

"I'm assuming that it didn't go well," Judy said.

"Not really," Quinn said. "Actually, I'm not sure how it went since I didn't really give her a chance to respond."

"Quinn!"

"She doesn't feel the same about me. I know that. The only person she has ever wanted is Finn. I'm not going to delude myself about that," Quinn said firmly.

"Do you regret telling her?" Judy asked.

Quinn thought back to that moment three days ago when she had unburdened the secret that she had spent so much time denying even to herself. A sense of relief had descended on her at that time. She finally understood why Kurt had publicly come out of the closet even when he knew that it would probably bring him nothing but pain and hardship.

She didn't have to hide anymore. Whatever happened after that, she would always have that.

"I don't regret it," Quinn said.

Judy gave Quinn a gentle pat on the leg. She said, "That's good. As long as you're satisfied with your decision. You know what they say. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did. So I think you should go back to school tomorrow."

"Okay."

Her mother was right. She had been gone long enough. It wasn't even like she was trying to avoid Rachel or anything like that. She had just needed the time to accept the idea that her friendship with Rachel was going to change. Quinn didn't have any real fears that the other girl would stop being her friend, but she didn't see any realistic scenario in which they could continue on as before as if she hadn't said anything. There would be awkwardness. How could there not be in a situation of unreciprocated love?

There was a knock at the door.

"What is it?" Quinn asked with a sigh.

July's voice came through the door as she said, "One of your friends from Glee Club is here to see you. Should I send her up?"

"Who is it?"

"It's Rachel Berry."

Quinn's mind locked up at those words. She had never expected this to happen. What was she supposed to do now? What was she supposed to say?

More importantly, what was Rachel planning to say to her?


	4. The Brunette and the Blonde

**Our Year to Get It Right**

**-Chapter 4: The Brunette and the Blonde-**

Quinn didn't let Rachel come up to her bedroom right away.

Instead, she attempted to brush her teeth and her hair, put in her contacts, put on her makeup, and change into something casual yet comfortable within a span of ten minutes. She knew that she was being utterly ridiculous but there was no way that she was going to be caught looking like some depressed, heartbroken kid. If Rachel was here to smash her heart into itty-bitty pieces then she would let the girl know exactly what she was missing out on.

Looking into the mirror, Quinn eyed the green tank top and skinny jeans she had thrown on with a worried frown. Did it look like she was trying too hard or not trying hard enough? It suddenly struck her as a little funny that she was doing all this primping for another girl. If only her father could see her now...

Quinn supposed that after the inevitable stroke, her father would probably be the most shocked that she wasn't reeling around in guilt and shame over being gay. She did have a problem with it at first, and trying to deal with her realization that she liked girls at the same time that she was trying to deal with her realization that she liked _Rachel Berry_ had been no picnic, but her concern had been more about the impact this would have on her reputation than anything else. She had quickly decided that this was a stupid worry. Her reputation could hardly get any worse at this point. That was mostly her own fault though.

She had to wonder if one of the reasons she became a juvenile delinquent over the summer was to be able to have control over trashing her own image before the gossip mill could. Maybe, on some subconscious level, she had wanted to throw into conservative Lima's face just how little she cared about their opinions. If that actually had been a reason for her transformation then it hadn't been a very major reason compared to her anguish about Rachel and Beth and her parents' divorce and her belief that she would never make anything out of herself. Her mind had been in a very dark place for those months.

Whatever. She was getting out of this stupid town in a few months anyway. Maybe she wasn't ready to lead a rainbow-themed parade down the street, but she wasn't going to do what Santana did and waste time and energy hating herself for something she couldn't change either.

Yeah, she had been taught that homosexuality was a sin but lying and disrespecting one's parents were also sins and everyone did that at one time or another. Everybody was a sinner, but that didn't mean everybody was evil. There were sins and then there were _sins_. Despite her father's influence, Quinn had never been able to believe that being gay was somehow on the level of murder and rape.

The idea of going to hell forever for downloading the latest Kesha song without paying for it seemed absurd and so did the thought of burning because one dared to love someone of the same gender. The idea of a truly loving, forgiving God that she had learned about in church didn't seem to line up with her father's ideas in this regard.

Even before she accidentally found out the nature of the relationship between Santana and Brittany the idea of someone she knew being gay just never seemed like a big deal to her. She never felt the same soul-searing hatred that her father did and she had never been brave enough to point out to him that hatred and self-righteous pride were not the traits of a good Christian.

Because she didn't like to take people's words at face value when it came to the contents of books Quinn had read the Bible for herself. Even after reading it, she couldn't figure out how homosexuality could be an abomination but slavery wasn't. And there didn't seem to be any real negative passages about all the polygamy and incest going on at the time either. It made no sense.

When Quinn was younger she had wanted to have a loving female friend like Naomi and Ruth of the Bible or Anne and Diana of the Green Gables series. If that type of love wasn't wrong then why was it wrong when that love manifested in physical acts like kissing or whatever?

How was it she had never noticed before that she had spent an awful lot of time thinking about homosexuality? She had simply told herself that she had done it to try to understand her father better. Her denial might seem odd to a stranger considering her tolerant attitude, but just because she was okay with other people being gay that didn't mean that she was fine with the idea that _she _was gay. Quinn didn't think being gay was going to send her to Hell, but she _knew _that it would certainly be inconvenient enough to make her life a living hell.

Lucy had been a nerdy loser who had no friends aside from her books. Being known as a gay loser like Kurt Hummel would have been even worse. So Quinn had spent the majority of her high school life not even entertaining the possibility to herself that maybe the reason she didn't really enjoy kissing her boyfriends was because she wanted to kiss a girl instead. That was the Fabray way of handling matters that one didn't want to think about.

This type of thinking would have been entirely foreign to Rachel. She was someone who usually would not lie to herself about who she was or what she wanted. She was genuine and true to herself in a way that Quinn had never seen in anybody else.

And that was why Rachel Berry couldn't possibly ever return her feelings. Because Quinn Fabray was a fraud in every sense of the world.

By the time Rachel came up to her room, Quinn had thoroughly depressed herself. She didn't even turn to look at the other girl when the door opened. She continued to stand by her window and look out onto the gloomy, fog-ridden street.

"Quinn?" Rachel said in an unsure manner when Quinn didn't say anything..

"Do your dads know that you're skipping school to talk to me?" Quinn asked.

"I told them that cutting classes every now and then is an expected part of being a high school senior. I also told them that I had something very important to do, and they understood. I wanted to see you, Quinn. I couldn't wait any longer. You can't just drop a bombshell on me then disappear off the face of the earth!"

"Sorry about that. I meant what I said, if you were wondering," Quinn said. "I wouldn't blame you if you were skeptical though."

"I didn't doubt your words or your feelings. That was never an issue," Rachel said firmly. Then her voice wavered as she said, "I just don't understand. How long have you felt this way?"

"That's a surprisingly difficult question to answer," Quinn replied. She still didn't turn to look at Rachel. Somehow, it seemed easier to talk about her demons this way. She said, "I did a lot of thinking this summer about myself. About why I was never happy. I have always been ashamed of myself in one way or another. When I was younger, it was because I wasn't beautiful or sociable like my older sister. I thought changing how I looked and acted would make me happy. But it didn't."

Quinn idly noticed that it was starting to rain outside. How appropriate. She didn't know why she was telling Rachel all these things, but at the same time she felt that Rachel was the only person she could have told these things. Because the brunette wouldn't judge her like others would and because she deserved to know.

In a low voice, Quinn said, "I was always so afraid that everyone would find out the truth. You saw the posters last year, right? I'm the cliché. The bullied kid who became a bully. I became popular and had the friends I'd always wanted, but I hated myself because I had become one of the mean girls that I despised. But I was so scared all the time. Whenever I saw a kid get slushied or thrown into the dumpster I had to laugh the loudest to hide my fear and my relief."

"Relief?" Rachel echoed.

"Yeah, relief. I was relieved that the kid who was being picked on wasn't me," Quinn said with a sigh. She closed her eyes as a wave of self-loathing came over her. "That it wasn't me."

She could almost imagine Rachel looking at her with an expression of pity. Well, why not? She was certainly someone to be pitied. Quinn said softly, "I'm not as strong as you seem to think I am, Rachel. I couldn't even admit to myself that I was gay because that was not how I wanted my life to go. I told you before that my parents would burn me like a witch for getting pregnant. What would being gay get me? Nothing but pain. At least that's what I thought."

"What changed?" Rachel asked. Quinn could tell from the sound of her voice that the brunette was trying to hold tears back.

"It was during our trip to New York. Santana and Brittany helped me open my eyes to some things. That I had a real chance to be happy if I really wanted it. They were right. I've always been my own worst enemy. And I finally realized something. The only times I've really been happy in the last few years is when I'm in Glee Club... and when I'm around you. You can aggravate the hell out of me, but you're also the only person who can really see me as I am. Even if it was painful I still wanted to be around you. After that, it just seemed stupid to be so worried about what other people would think about me."

Quinn took a breath and then she turned around. Her lips curved into a small smile as she saw Rachel standing by her door looking adorable in her checkered blue-and-grey sweater and grey skirt. She was nervously fiddling with her hands as if she didn't know what to do with them. Rachel's eyes filled with surprise as she noticed Quinn was now looking at her, and she actually looked away with reddened cheeks.

"To answer the question you're really asking... I don't know exactly when I fell in love with you," Quinn said. "At least I think it's love. I've never felt like this about anyone before so I can't really say for sure. All I know is that I started thinking about you differently after prom last year. Of course I didn't even know what I was feeling until after Nationals... But I think that I thought of you as special even before that. You shine so brightly, Rachel. I can't help but orbit around you."

A small smile appeared on Rachel's face, but then it turned into a slight frown. She said, "Have you always felt attracted to me? Even when you were picking on me?"

"Don't worry, Rachel. I'm not quite that messed up," Quinn replied with a grim smile. She continued, "When I first saw you, I didn't like you very much."

"That's a surprisingly common sentiment," Rachel said with a wan smile.

Quinn shook her head before she said, "No, it had nothing to do with your dads or lack of fashion sense. I had never even talked to you at that point, so I didn't dislike you because of your personality. It was because you reminded me of the girl I used to be."

Quinn knew that Rachel already knew about her days as Lucy. The shorter girl had mentioned it off-handedly during one of their study sessions in the library one day. Finn apparently hadn't understood that her past wasn't something Quinn had wanted spread around. He thought it was something she should be proud about. Maybe that was true, but it wasn't up to other people to decide that for her. Finn had never understood that. Poor Santana had learned that the hard way.

Finn apparently also didn't understand the common-sense notion that it wasn't a good idea to talk about one's ex-girlfriend to the new girlfriend. Why had she been so sad about Finn dumping her again? Anyway, this actually made things a bit easier since she didn't have to explain this part of her history to Rachel.

"You reminded me of how I was when I was unpopular, but the thing was that it didn't seem to bother you what people thought about you. You knew that you were special and nothing could change that. I resented you because even though nobody liked you you were still so upbeat and confident... and because even though you were the school outcast like I was you were so much more beautiful and talented than I ever was as Lucy.

"I was always thinking that if you had just paid a little more attention to current fashion or toned down your weirdness then you could have easily been one of the popular girls. But you didn't seem to care about trying to be popular. You didn't want to change who you were. You accepted yourself for who you were. That was something I never could have done. So, yeah, I did despise you a bit. And... I wished that I had known you before. Because you seemed like the type of person I would have enjoyed being friends with when I was younger."

"Oh, Quinn," Rachel said sympathetically.

Quinn bit her lip in embarrassment as she saw the compassionate look that Rachel was directing at her. Her eyes flickered toward the wall as she said, "I actually admired you for not giving into peer pressure and conforming to what all the other idiots around here think. But I doubt that we would have ever had a real conversation if you hadn't gone after Finn. That really shook me up. I felt like a fat loser again... and you know how that ended.

"That should have been the final straw that pushed me into hating you, but I still couldn't do that. When I quit glee club you came after me and you offered to help me. You could have taken that opportunity to crush me but you didn't. And that's when I first realized what a good person you were. Maybe I was attracted to you even then. I don't really know. I just know that after I joined Glee Club my life changed for the better and for the worse and you were there for all of that supporting me even when I didn't want you around. After prom, I realized that I couldn't think of you simply as the annoying girl who kept trying to take Finn away from me. I didn't even care about Finn. But I did want to understand _you_ better."

Rachel asked, "Is that when you realized...?"

Quinn shook her head. She said, "Not then. It wasn't until I saw you kiss Finn on stage at Nationals that I realized that I wasn't mad at you for kissing Finn. I was jealous of _him_. I wanted to be the person kissing you. You know how I felt after I realized that? Horrible. Because I knew that I had ruined any chance I might have ever had with you years ago. That was kinda the last straw for me."

The blonde girl averted her eyes from Rachel as she said quietly, "One of the reasons I went nuts over the summer was that I wanted to try not being me for awhile. I figured if I distanced myself from everyone I couldn't hurt anyone and nobody could hurt me. In the end though, all I was doing was putting on another mask to hide my real problems."

"So the rumors about you dating a forty-year old skateboarder was false," Rachel said with what sounded like relief.

"Not entirely. I did spend a lot of time with that skateboarder. _Her _name's Alex and she's only 28. She's part of the P-Flag group in Columbus. She's originally from here though, and I met her at a skateboarding rally at the park. She helped me figure out some stuff. I finally understood why I had some kind of strange obsession with you for all these years. There was something about you that had always drawn my attention. I was always thinking about you one way or another. Brittany once asked me why I liked to draw hearts around the caricatures I drew of you. Santana told me that it was kinda gay to draw those pornographic pictures of you... I guess she was right. I can't really say that I was in denial about my feelings. That would imply that I knew what I was feeling, and I really didn't. All I knew was that you frustrated the hell out of me and I couldn't understand why. Now I do."

Quinn lifted her eyes to look at Rachel. The brunette looked to be deep in thought.

"Are you mad at me?" Quinn asked tentatively.

"There's no way I could be mad at you for how you feel," Rachel said immediately. "I can't say that I understand how difficult it must have been to tell me this, but I want you to know that I appreciate your honesty. It's just... this is going to take me some time to process."

"The idea that I like you surprises you this much?" Quinn asked. She had meant for this to coming out in a joking manner but she ended up sounding rather serious.

"It does," Rachel replied with a nod.

"Is it because I'm a girl?" Quinn asked with a note of resignation in her tone. There had always been a strong probability that Rachel was completely straight. Was it better or worse that Quinn never really had a chance at all?

"It has nothing to do with that. It's true that I'm mainly attracted to men, but I'm interested in women as well. I think I'm a 2 on the Kinsey scale. The point is that I can imagine myself in a relationship with a woman. Gender's not going to be an issue for me when it comes to love."

Quinn felt both exhilarated and deflated by this statement. She had never imagined that Rachel would say something like this to her. It was more than she had ever expected. On the other hand, she had lost her best excuse for why Rachel wouldn't want to be with her.

"If Finn wasn't in the picture, could you imagine the two of us..." Quinn trailed off. She didn't even know what she was trying to ask. The girl was engaged, for God's sake!

"I don't know what to say. I honestly never expected to hear this from you," Rachel said.

Quinn had to blink back tears. Why was she doing this to herself? She supposed that she just wanted the other girl to throw her a bone, but she should have known better. Even if Rachel had some interest in women, that didn't mean that she'd have any interest in _Quinn_.

The blonde said stiffly, "So it's because I've been a bitch to you. I guess I deserve that. I'm completely messed up. I wouldn't want to be with me either-"

"Quinn! You're not listening to me! I said I never expected you to say something like that to _me_. Yes, I did think you were straight but I knew that even if you weren't I wouldn't even have a chance with you. That's why I can't imagine the two of us together. You're so far out of my league that it's not even funny!"

"You're just trying to make me feel better..." Quinn said morosely. She pulled herself together and shook off her melancholy. What was she doing to poor Rachel with her mood swings? She said, "I'm sorry I'm being so weird and emotionally needy right now. I meant it when I said I didn't expect you to feel the same way. I didn't mean to put you on the spot like this. I must be making you so uncomfortable-"

Rachel let out a sigh of exasperation then with a determined look on her face, she crossed the short distance between them and pulled Quinn into a hug. Quinn felt her anxiety level immediately fall and when Rachel finally pulled away she couldn't help but notice that the brunette was holding her hand.

Rachel stared at Quinn for what seemed like a very long time then she gave a firm nod as if she had made a decision to herself. She said slowly, "I don't know if I should tell you this... Maybe I'll just make things worse but if we're being honest with each other... I had the biggest crush on you freshman year."

Quinn lifted her head so quickly that she almost gave herself whiplash. "What?"

Rachel's cheeks reddened and her eyes darted toward Quinn's bedspread as if she suddenly found an interesting pattern to look at. She said, "Oh, come on, Quinn. This can't surprise you that much. I already told you that I had some sexual interest in women, and you're the prettiest girl in the whole school. How could I not have a crush on you? Half the school does. You were so beautiful and intelligent and poised. You made being popular and admired seem so easy. I even went to a few football games just to watch you cheerlead, which sounds a bit stalkerish now that I look back on it. I had never appreciated the art of cheerleading before, but you made it seem so effortless and exhilarating. It was... like watching poetry in motion."

"Thank you," Quinn said. It was the blonde's turn to blush, and she turned her face away to hide her embarrassment.

"You wouldn't believe how many times I daydreamed about being friends with you," Rachel said with a nostalgic smile on her face. "But I knew that I would probably never summon the courage to even talk to you. It would have ruined the delusion that you would have wanted anything to do with me. So I decided to simply admire you from afar. But then you became head Cheerio and..."

Rachel's smile faded.

"Then I became the head bitch," Quinn whispered Her heart lurched at the expression on Rachel's face.

Rachel sighed then she said, "After that, I didn't like you very much. But... I couldn't bring myself to hate you. I felt sorry for you for feeling that you had to step over others to get to the top of the social hierarchy, but I can understand that kind of ambition. It doesn't make what you did right, but since we go to school in an environment that makes _Lord of the Flies_ seem pleasant in comparison your actions made sense in a self-serving, Darwinian way. It still hurt _a lot_ that my existence as a human being meant so little to you, but that was only because I wanted you to be different from all the other people who ignored and belittled me. I was always more disappointed than angry with you because I wanted to believe that you had a reason to act the way you did."

"You're too understanding," Quinn said. She pulled her hand out of Rachel's grasp, suddenly feeling angry at herself. "You should have been cursing my name every night, not trying to make excuses for my actions!"

Rachel grabbed Quinn's hand again and said, "Quinn, you have to stop doing this to yourself. I told you that I forgave you a long time ago. Do you want to know why I kept trying to understand why you acted the way you did? It wasn't because I liked you or because I'm a saint or anything like that. It was because you were clearly different from my other bullies. What you did to me and so many others actually bothered you."

"You could tell?" Quinn asked, surprised.

"It was so obvious to me. I could never understand how nobody else seemed to notice. It was expressed in your eyes. They always seemed so sorrowful and distant. I said to you earlier that I was attracted to you by your beauty, and that's true. But there was another reason. What really drew me in was how fragile and sad you really were under your tough exterior. I guess I felt like we were kindred spirits in a way. I'd be lying if I said that I'd never wondered what it would be like to kiss away your tears. Even after I got over my crush I never stopped wanting to help you feel better," Rachel said.

"Why on earth would you want to help me?" Quinn asked.

"Because the more I got to know the person behind the Cheerios mask the more I became convinced that there was an amazing woman who I wanted to get to know very much. I know you can be manipulative and petty, but you can also be so warm and compassionate. I know what you did for Mercedes when she was on the road to getting an eating disorder. You got the Troubletones to come back to Glee Club. And you were the person who got us a page in the yearbook sophomore year."

"How do you know about that?" Quinn asked.

"I had gone to thank Coach Sylvester for her surprising change of heart. She told me to thank the blonde Lindsay Lohan and her alien spawn."

Quinn had to smile a little at that.

"I had always thought you looked beautiful, but I came to realize that you were a beautiful person too."

Rachel was saying everything that Quinn wanted to hear from her and that made her very happy, but that joy was tempered by the knowledge that there was a 'but' coming.

"Why are you telling me this?" Quinn asked.

"I wanted to show you that I understood and empathized with having feelings of a Sapphic quality. I can even admit that I've always found you attractive. When you broke down that one time telling me that I was better than Lima, I knew then that you actually cared about me. When I wrote _Get It Right_ I was thinking of what a shame it was that we had to start out as enemies. When you confessed to me the other day I was shocked but I was also very happy. I do love you, Quinn, even if not in the way you want."

Rachel looked up at her with tearful eyes. She said, "If things were different then I think I could have easily fallen in love with you. For what it's worth, I think we would have made an amazing couple. But..."

"But you love Finn," Quinn finished, closing her eyes to brace herself against the pain those those words brought her. There it was. Rachel was demonstrating how possible it was to stab someone through the heart with kindness. She was letting her down gently.

Quinn had known this all along that engagement or no engagement Rachel Berry wouldn't return her feelings. Any romantic feelings that Rachel may have once harbored for her died a long time ago.

Except...

This was Rachel Berry. This was a girl who never gave up on any of her dreams no matter how ridiculous they were. She had chased after Finn through through three years of high school drama. She kept trying to make Quinn her friend despite receiving no signs or encouragement. Rachel was not a person who could let go of her feelings for someone so easily.

On a bold impulse, Quinn reached out with her free hand and cupped Rachel's cheek. The shorter girl let out a soft sigh and actually leaned into Quinn's hand. Then Rachel's eyes widened and she pulled away.

"So you got over your crush," Quinn said as she raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Quinn..."

"Why did you lie to me, Rachel?" Quinn asked.

"I wasn't lying!" Rachel insisted as she backed away toward the window. "I didn't mean to react like that when you touched me... I hadn't realized that I still wanted... I guess there's still a part of me that wants to be with you. I won't deny that there's chemistry between us, but that doesn't mean anything. I'm engaged, Quinn. I'm not going to jeopardize the relationship I'm in now because of some physical attraction."

Quinn swallowed her disappointment. She was getting off track of why she was even talking to Rachel about this in the first place. She said, "Fair enough. I'm not asking you to break up with Finn for me. I just need you to know that Finn isn't the only person who can love you. If somebody like me can fall for you then you have nothing to worry about."

Rachel smiled. She said, "That means a lot to me. You really don't want me to marry Finn, do you?"

"Yeah, but I don't want you to think it's just because I'm jealous of him. I totally am, but that's not the reason. I really do think you deserve better. And even if you don't agree with that then I at least want you to wait until you're ready. So tell me the truth, Rachel. Do you really think you're ready to be married?"

"I-I don't know…" Rachel stammered.

Quinn gave her a look. She asked, "You don't think that means something?"

Rachel crossed her arms and sighed. She appeared to consider something for a moment before she said, "Since we're being so honest with each other... The truth is that I do have doubts about getting married. After I got my NYADA letter, I realized that I only accepted Finn's proposal because I was afraid of losing everything. I do want to be with him though and backing out of the wedding now without a good reason... How can I call off the wedding and still expect to continue our relationship?"

"Not wanting to get married is not a good reason? Listen to yourself. If Finn breaks up with you because you won't marry him this very second then he's definitely not someone you should be marrying," Quinn said firmly.

"Maybe you're right," Rachel said.

That was all Quinn needed to hear.

Quinn knew Rachel well enough to know that this admission would not be enough for Rachel to call off the wedding. Tomorrow, she would rationalize these words as pre-wedding jitters. She had gone too far down the road to marriage to back down now without a reason that wouldn't make her look arbitrary and capricious. In her mind, backing out of the wedding now would destroy her relationship with Finn in the long run. Even if Rachel didn't want to marry him, she didn't want to lose him either.

Quinn wanted to tell Rachel that being afraid to tell one's significant other of their honest fears was a sign of a doomed relationship, but Rachel probably wouldn't want to hear that.

The blonde cheerleader hadn't wanted to resort to this, but it looked like she was going to have to do something to stop Rachel and Finn from getting married after all. She was going to find a way to get the wedding called off that would allow Rachel to save face and keep her relationship with Finn intact. Quinn didn't care at all about the latter but she did care about Rachel. And that was what the girl wanted.

Quinn wasn't planning on doing anything stupid or cliché like trying to seduce Finn or crashing the wedding, but she really could not just sit back and let Rachel make the biggest mistake of her life either.


	5. The Fabray and the Berry

**Our Year to Get It Right**

**-Chapter 5: The Fabray and the Berry-**

"_I do love you, Quinn, even if not in the way you want."_

Those words bounced around inside Quinn's head long after Rachel was picked up by her dads and taken home.

Quinn couldn't even wrap her mind around the idea that Rachel actually once had thoughts about the two of them being together as a couple. It was true that Quinn had hopes of such a thing, but she had never seriously expected it. Yes, Quinn had often wondered if Rachel had ever meant anything deeper by her almost flirtatious comments, but she was still blown away by the revelation that the other girl had a crush on her.

But a crush was not love. Rachel didn't feel that way about her. Quinn had no illusions about that. Even so, Quinn couldn't stop smiling to herself. Because Rachel had told her that she loved her, and while that may not have been as great as Rachel telling her that she was _in love _with her, it still felt pretty great.

This might seem like a strange thing to be excited about, but Quinn was a very insecure girl deep down. Rachel obviously cared about her and meant it when she said they were friends, but Quinn had never been quite certain whether their friendship was the kind that would survive outside the walls of the high school and Glee Club. Why would Rachel Berry want to continue being friends with a nobody like her, especially once they went to their separate colleges in their separate states?

Quinn pulled a well-worn copy of _Anne of Green Gables _off her bookshelf and flipped

to a page that had the corner of it folded over like a dog's ear.

_Anne tipped the vase of apple blossoms near enough to bestow a soft kiss on a pink-cupped bud, and then studied diligently for some moments longer._

_"Marilla," she demanded presently, "do you think that I shall ever have a bosom friend in Avonlea?"_

_"A-a what kind of friend?"_

_"A bosom friend-an intimate friend, you know-a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. I've dreamed of meeting her all my life. I never really supposed I would, but so many of my loveliest dreams have come true all at once that perhaps this one will, too. Do you think it's possible?"_

Quinn had always dreamed of finding a friend like that. Someone who wouldn't judge her like her family did and who would accept her as who she was. Someone to go on adventures with and to share her secrets.

Santana and Brittany were two of her closest friends, but Quinn had always known that she would never have the type of friendship with them that Santana and Brittany had with each other. And that didn't have anything to do with their romantic relationship either. Brittany and Santana had been best friends and family to each other long before they had developed romantic feelings for each other.

Quinn wanted to believe that she and Rachel could have that type of relationship even if they never did become girlfriends. It seemed like they could, and that made her very happy.

Maybe Quinn should have been satisfied with that, but humans always wanted more than what they already had, and Quinn was no exception to that. So Quinn would be honest with herself. She did not have entirely altruistic motives when it came to her desire to stop Rachel and Finn from getting married.

She still wanted Rachel.

And when Quinn Fabray wanted something, she did everything in her power to try to get it. It was an integral part of her personality. It was that part of her that drove her to become Cheerios captain twice, that tried to take Beth away from Shelby, that made her succeed in totally transforming herself, and that somehow convinced Finn that he had impregnated her via hot tub. She managed to maintain a straight A average both when she was pregnant and when she was pretending to be a delinquent. Despite believing that she was destined to be a Lima loser, she had done everything possible to give herself a shot at getting out of Ohio.

Quinn was not proud of some of her past actions, but they did prove that she was not a quitter. She would use that crazy, obsessive part of her to find a way to stop Rachel from marrying Finn. After that...

She had no idea what would happen after that. But at the very least she would have a chance to get it right with Rachel.

So she was going to do the most insane thing she could come up with. She was going to talk to Rachel's dads.

The idea actually made her a little queasy. She had seen the Berry men at the show choir competitions and school events like the performance of West Side Story and she had even causally interacted with them in group settings before, but she had never actually talked to them in private. She had no idea what they really thought about her. Quinn had gotten the sense that Rachel's parents was curious about her but they had never approached her with the offer to have a real conversation about her past and her treatment of Rachel. She didn't know if that meant that they wanted nothing to do with her or if they were waiting for her to make the first move.

Even after they had become friends, Rachel had never extended an invitation for Quinn to come over to her house. Was it because the girl had sensed that Quinn would be uncomfortable with the idea or because she knew that her parents would be against it?

Quinn wasn't afraid that the men would be hostile toward her. She could deal with hostility. She would even welcome it as a just punishment for her crimes. But she really didn't want to see the disappointment in their eyes. How could she be so worried about disappointing people who were almost complete strangers to her? Because she knew that Rachel hadn't been the only member of the Berry clan that she had hurt with her actions.

The guilt of hurting the girl she loved had been too much to bear, so she had chosen the coward's way and done everything she could to avoid interacting with Hiram and Leroy Berry as much as possible. That strategy was going to have to change now.

Quinn went back to school the next day and the rest of the week flew by as she formulated one mental scenario after another of what she was going to say and do. She had been a little worried about it being awkward interacting with Rachel after everything they had discussed, but, if anything, Rachel seemed more determined than ever to spend time with and talk to Quinn.

The blonde cheerleader had wondered at first if Rachel was overcompensating, but she had come to realize that the other girl was just happy that the two of them had reached another level in their friendship. Maybe Rachel had always longed for a bosom friend as well. Someone to whom she could bare her soul. And even though she had Kurt and Finn to confide in, it was still Quinn that Rachel usually turned to when she needed to talk. It was probably just because there were times that Rachel needed a female friend. Quinn refused to harbor any deeper hopes than that.

Buoyed by the fact that Rachel didn't hate her, Quinn found herself just going with the flow. It wasn't until another week went by and she had accidentally walked in on Finn and Rachel making out in the choir room that she finally realized that she was dragging her feet on the whole 'stop Rachel's madness for her own good' plan.

So after Glee Club was let out for the day, Quinn summoned her willpower and pulled Kurt aside before he could leave.

"Hey! Watch where you're gripping the jacket. You'll wrinkle the fabric!" Kurt complained as he shook off Quinn's grip and then started inspecting the sleeve of his black designer jacket for damage.

"Kurt, I need a favor from you," Quinn said.

Kurt must have heard something strange in her tone because he looked up at her with a curious expression. He said, "Uh oh. I recognize that look. Do I detect a hint of scheming in your eyes, Fabray?"

"A little bit," Quinn acknowledged.

"Then count me out," Kurt replied firmly.

"Why?" Quinn asked, startled. The boy had always been fascinated by drama and intrigue, so she hadn't expected him to turn her down.

Kurt gave her a pitying look. He replied, "I hate to say it, but your plans don't have the best track records for success."

Quinn's mind immediately flashed to her past plots of convincing Finn that he was Beth's father and trying to get Shelby declared an unfit mother. Okay, she had to give Kurt a point on that one.

"Just hear me out. Are you still opposed to Finn and Rachel getting married?"

"Of course I am," Kurt replied.

Quinn raised an eyebrow. She said, "Really? Because your actions of helping Rachel pick out her floral arrangements during lunch suggests differently."

Kurt gave her an affronted look. He said, "Just because I think the marriage of Finchel would be the biggest disaster since Kris Humphries married Kim Kardashian that doesn't mean I'm not going to be a good friend and respect their decision."

"So you wouldn't be interested in helping me stop this wedding from happening?" Quinn asked.

"I'm in," Kurt said immediately. "What do you need me to do?"

Quinn gave him a disbelieving look. She asked, "What's with the change of heart?"

Kurt shrugged. He said, "I thought you wanted me to help you run for Prom Queen or something like that."

Quinn blinked in surprise. She hadn't even realized that senior prom was a little more than a month away. She... actually didn't care about that at the moment. Trying to get the conversation back on track, Quinn said, "I don't need you to do anything major. Just keep Rachel away from her house for a few hours today. Take her shopping. Go see a movie. I don't care."

Kurt's face turned wary. He asked, "You're not going to burn down her house, are you?"

"What? No! What do you take me for?" Quinn said, outraged.

"Sorry!" Kurt said, holding up his hands defensively. "Just checking that you haven't fallen back into your rebel punk psycho princess phase."

Quinn rolled her eyes. Just because she set one purple piano on fire at the start of the year everyone thought she was a pyromaniac now.

"I'm not crazy at the moment, but don't push me, Hummel," Quinn growled. "If you really must know, I'm going to talk to Rachel's dads about stopping the wedding."

"Oh. That's... boring," Kurt said.

"Welcome to being an adult," Quinn said dryly. "On that note, I was also thinking that you should talk to Finn about whether he's really ready to get married."

"I've _tried _talking to Finn!" Kurt protested.

"Try harder. Rachel's convinced that Finn will break up with her if she calls off the wedding, but I don't think she'd mind too much if Finn was the one who got cold feet," Quinn said.

"Rachel is ridiculously understanding like that," Kurt agreed. Then his eyes widened. "Wait, Rachel told you that? Wow, you girls are really taking this friendship thing seriously."

"I'm really starting to get angry here," Quinn said with a frown.

"No, no, no. I didn't mean it like that. Your friendship with Rachel is a wondrous miracle that is a joy to behold. Almost as adorable as Brittana, I would say. I've never seen Rachel happier than when she told me that you became her friend. And you've become much less of a sourpuss as well. I just hadn't realized that you two had gotten to the point where you're comfortable sharing your innermost, private feelings."

_You have no idea_, Quinn thought. Then she mentally slapped herself on the forehead. She said, "Kurt, it has just occurred to me that I shouldn't have told you what I just said about Rachel's feelings."

"My lips are sealed," Kurt reassured her. "Not even Mercedes will hear a word of this from me."

"That better be the case or you'll find out exactly why I was the HBIC around here," Quinn said in a low voice. The threat probably wasn't necessary as Kurt was Rachel's best friend, but Quinn didn't like to take chances.

Kurt looked appropriately subdued. Then he asked, "Do you also want me to work on dad and Carole?"

Quinn thought this idea over then she shook her head. She replied, "Not right now. You guys are still a new family and I don't want to cause trouble. Also, Finn's mom has always been lenient with Finn. If she suddenly turns against him along with you and Burt then Finn will think you guys are ganging up on him and he'll just dig his heels in further. Just talk to himself yourself, Kurt."

"I'll try. I warn you now though not to expect any stellar results. I wish you better luck."

Quinn reflected on Kurt's parting words as she stood on the doorstep of Rachel's house trying to summon the courage to ring the doorbell. She hadn't visited this place since Rachel's disastrous party last year. She remembered how Rachel had lighted up at seeing her which had been odd since Finn had recently chosen Quinn over the brunette. Quinn had figured that Rachel had simply been happy to have a popular girl like her attend a Berry party. Now Quinn wondered if there had been more to Rachel's reaction than that. Because Rachel hadn't reacted that way to the arrival of Santana or Brittany. Maybe it hadn't been about popular girls like Quinn showing up but about _Quinn herself_ coming to her house.

Quinn had always been flattered by Rachel's obvious admiration for her, but she was slightly bothered by it too. What was there to admire about her? She was a horrible person who lied to and used others. And she was about to face two people who probably knew that better than anyone. That was why she had been staring at the Berrys' door for about ten minutes now. Because she was afraid.

The door suddenly opened, and Quinn was too startled by the motion to give into her first impulse to run away.

The face of a dark-skinned man, Leroy Berry, appeared from behind the door. He smiled at her and said gently, "I apologize for pushing you into a decision, but Hiram and I are about to start making dinner and we need to know if we need to set another plate aside."

"That's perfectly all- I don't need- Rachel didn't invite me over," Quinn said hurriedly. Her words ran over each other as she tried to figure out what to do or say at this moment.

If Rachel's father was bewildered by Quinn's word salad, he didn't show it. He simply said, "We'll set a portion aside in case you change your mind."

Quinn was about to protest, but the older man had already turned back into the house and she was forced to follow him.

In the kitchen, a bespectacled, pale man was dicing carrots. He looked up as Quinn entered the room.

"What brings you to our humble abode, Miss Fabray? Perhaps you've heard of my world-famous ginger veggie stir-fry?" Hiram Berry said. He was smiling, but Quinn noticed a slight wariness in his eyes.

"Honey, I believe that the girl has something important she wishes to discuss with us."

"I'm all ears," said the Berry cook as he put his knife down on the cutting board.

Quinn didn't know what to do with her hands all of a sudden. After a moment's hesitation, she firmly clasped them in front of her. She began, "The reason I'm here, Mister and Mister Berry-"

"Leroy and Hiram, dear," Mister Berry -no, Leroy- gently chided. "But if you insist on being formal, then I will call you Miss Fabray like my husband here."

"Quinn will be fine," Quinn said with a gracious smile as she tried to call upon the etiquette lessons that had been drilled into her since childhood. But this particular situation had probably not been covered in the lessons of Emily Post.

Screw it. She was just going to start talking. She asked, "How much has Rachel told you about how she's treated at school?"

"If you're referring to her being bullied, Rachel has told us everything," Hiram said stiffly. "We place a high importance on open communication. Granted, in this case, it would have been impossible for our daughter to hide it even if she wanted to as there are only so many excuses she could have come up with for why her wardrobe was taking on a multi-colored hue."

Quinn grimaced and she felt her face flush with shame. She looked down at the counter as she said, "Then you know that I had a big part to do with that. I didn't start the slushy tradition, and I wasn't even the first person who ever threw them at Rachel, but I was the one who painted a target on her back. Before that, Rachel may have gotten slushied maybe once or twice a week but that changed to once a day after I became head cheerleader and made it quietly known that one way to curry my favor was to mistreat Rachel."

She could feel tears building up behind her eyes and she forcefully pushed them back. She was not going to cry. Quinn said, "I'm not going to offer excuses for what I did. It doesn't matter why. What I did was wrong. Your daughter is an amazing person, and I regret that it has taken me so long to see that. It took me even longer than it should have to apologize to her for my past behavior. What's worse is that I never properly apologized to you."

The stern look that had been on Hiram's face softened. He asked, "What made you decide that now would be the time?"

"Because Rachel has done so much for me. She has stopped me from doing things I would regret forever so many times. I want- no, I _need _to do something for her. High school is almost over. I want everyone in Glee Club to enjoy the last few months of this year, and that includes Rachel. I want her to have a happy ending to her high school career. And, this may be selfish of me to say, I want to be a part of that happy ending."

Hiram carefully studied her. He turned to look at his husband, and the two of them stared silently at each other at moment then nodded as if they had arrived at some mutual decision. Hiram turned to Quinn and said, "I believe you care about Rachel very much, and I believe you're sorry for what you did. That's enough for me."

"I agree," Leroy said.

Quinn was startled by this. She had expected to do much more groveling to get to this point. "How can you just...?"

Leroy replied, "My husband here said a few minutes ago that Rachel tells us everything. I don't think you understand exactly what that means. We know all about you, Quinn Fabray, both the good and the bad. For the past few years, we believe that there has been more good than bad."

Quinn found herself leaning forward to hear what the older man had to say.

"I remember the day that Rachel came home talking a mile a minute about this girl that she admired very much. Our daughter kept going on and on about how this girl was so beautiful and smart and how she wished they could become friends. Of course we encouraged her to extend a hand of friendship instead of just sitting around and talking about it, but she refused to try. She insisted that she didn't have anything to offer someone like you."

"You must be exaggerating," Quinn said shaking her head in disbelief. "You're making it sound like she thought of me as a celebrity or a role model or something."

"It was a surprise to us as well," Leroy said with a smile. As you may have noticed, our daughter has a very high opinion of herself. Usually, a person would have to be an EGOT winner to get this level of adoration from her. Then one day she suddenly stopped talking about you. Out of blue, she started talking about this boy who had helped her pick up her books when some of the other students had knocked them out of her hands."

"Finn Hudson," Quinn said with a sigh.

Hiram pushed up his glasses with his finger then he said mildly, "You got it. It was quite a change when Rachel suddenly wouldn't stop talking about this Hudson boy. I think this was about a week after she informed us that this supposedly wonderful girl she had idolized so much had joined in on the name-calling and slushying."

"That must have been quite the disillusionment," Quinn muttered. She tried to imagine having a person who she admired very much turn against her. Then she realized that she didn't have to imagine it. She had lived through that with her father. She would never forget the feeling of disbelief and betrayal that ran through her body when he had looked at her with contempt and anger.

"Oh my God," Quinn said as she buried her face in her hands. She shouldn't have come here. She was as bad as her father. No, she was worse. She had done her best to crush a girl who had never done anything to her and who had even believed that she was a person of value.

But Rachel was wrong. During their freshman and sophomore years, Quinn could have used her newfound popularity to make life better for people like Lucy and to set an example for all the 'cool kids' who thought only of themselves. She hadn't done any of that. In the end, a nose job and gymnastics regimen didn't change how ugly she was. She had simply found a better looking package to hide in.

Quinn suddenly remembered the look on Rachel's face the first time Quinn had thrown a slushy at her. It had been the saddest, most pathetic thing she had ever seen and that sight had haunted for Quinn for days because she had not understood it. Rachel got slushied all the time and she had always either accepted it with resignation or snapped back at her tormentors with a spark of defiance in her eyes. But she had never looked so _hurt_ before. And now Quinn knew why.

She thought about her father again and the sense of betrayal she had felt. Then she burst into tears.

Great heaving sobs wracked her body. Quinn was horrified by her loss of control, but she couldn't get the tears to stop. This failure only made her cry even harder. She had to stop. She couldn't do this here. She didn't deserve to have a breakdown in front of Rachel's dads. She could only imagine the disgust they must be feeling at her for feeling sorry for herself like this.

Quinn felt a presence standing behind her. She looked up uncertainly with tear-streaked eyes and saw Leroy looking at her with kind eyes. He gave her a slight nod and she fell into his arms with a sob. She knew that it should feel strange to be embracing a stranger but it didn't. It reminded her of how her father used to hold her after a nightmare when she was younger. She felt safe and warm in Leroy's arms. She used to feel that way with her father, but she couldn't remember the last time he had hugged her.

"I don't know how... I'm such a horrible person... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

Quinn didn't know how much time had gone by before she managed to wrestle control of herself. She slowly released her hold on Leroy's shirt and backed a few feet away. She eyes the wet stains on Leroy's satin shirt with distaste then she said, "I'm really sorry about that. I can get that dry-cleaned for you by tomorrow. Coach Sylvester has a deal with-"

Quinn broke off when she saw Leroy raise his hand in a calming gesture. He said, "That's not necessary, but we can talk about that later if you really want. But I don't think you really want to talk about dry-cleaning right now."

"Have a glass of water, sweetie," Hiram coaxed gently as he wrapped her fingers around the glass in front of her. Quinn managed a small smile as she remembered Rachel telling her that the response to tears in the Berry household was the quick replenishment of lost fluids.

"I'll leave now," Quinn said, looking down. Her cheeks were red with shame.

"We won't stop you, but if you leave now then you won't hear the rest of the story," Hiram said with a sly look in his eyes.

"What more is there to say?" Quinn asked morosely.

"How about the fact that Rachel never stopped believing that you were a good person?" Leroy asked.

Quinn sank down on a nearby stool with a weary expression. She thought about the Myspace comments and the drawings in the bathroom stalls. She said, "No offense to either of you, but I don't think that I will ever understand your daughter."

Hiram smiled. He said, "The thing about Rachel is that while she can certainly be selfish and self-centered -don't think that we're blind to her faults just because we're her fathers- Rachel is a truly compassionate young woman. She believes in the goodness of people and in giving second chances. She was disappointed in your actions, but she still thought you were too good a person to keep up this mean girl act forever. She said there were two kinds of bullies. There were the kind who grow up and look back on their past acts with shame and regret and the kind who never truly understand what the big deal was about a few 'harmless' pranks. She insisted that you were the former."

Leroy took over as he said, "For what it's worth, I think she was correct."

"Really?" Quinn asked.

"Rachel told us about your ups and downs and the exciting drama of a girl trying to find herself. She told us about your pregnancy and how that changed you. She was very happy when the two of you bonded over Beth. She was sad that you two drifted apart during junior year, but she understood that trying to return to your old life was something you had to do. To your credit, you did not resume bullying her and you stayed in glee club. Rachel told us about how you've supported and helped the other members of glee club over the years. How you helped Sam with his family problems or how you were there for Santana when she was outed to the school. You've clearly been through a lot, but our little girl is still proud to call you her friend."

"I had no idea that Rachel spoke about me so much," Quinn said with a touch of awe in her voice.

"You have no idea," Hiram said with a chuckle. "She was so happy for you when you got into Yale and when you agreed to be her friend. And we think you've been a very good friend. We know that you've been trying to convince her not to get married."

Quinn asked tentatively, "Did she tell you why?"

"No, she didn't tell us why you felt so strongly about this. She just said you were being a good friend. I'm not going to speculate on your motives, but I believe her when she says they come from a good place."

Quinn studied the faces of the two men in front of her. It didn't look like Rachel had told them about her confession. Quinn didn't know whether to be relieved or a little disappointed by that.

Hiram leaned forward slightly and said, "Just between you and me, your opposition to the marriage shows that you have impeccable judgment. A definite plus for you in my book."

"Hiram," Leroy said with a hint of warning in his voice.

"What?" Hiram asked, spreading his hands and shrugging. "Are we supposed to pretend that we're ecstatic about this in front of Rachel's friends too?"

This was probably the best opening that she was going to get so she took it. She said, "Actually, the reason I'm here today is because I wanted to talk about Rachel's plan to get married at the end of the school year. I'm against it. And it sounds to me that you're not too thrilled about the idea either."

Leroy replied, "We do have some reservations but only because we think the two of them are so young. We think Finn is a wonderful boy-"

"Boy being the operative word," Hiram muttered.

"And we are not against him marrying our daughter someday but not now. Not when she's on the verge of reaching out for her dreams. We want Rachel to have it all -love and a career- but we don't want her to lose sight of what's truly important to her either. We're not convinced that marriage is what would truly make her happy at this point in her life."

"Have either of you told her how you feel?" Quinn asked.

Leroy said, "We don't want to be the stereotypical parents who try to stop their daughter from marrying the boy of her dreams. We also couldn't stop her even if we wanted. Rachel is almost eighteen, an adult. If her heart is really set on doing this then we can only support her. We don't want her to feel that her only option is to elope."

"We also don't want her to hate us," Hiram said quietly.

"Rachel could never hate you," Quinn said with conviction. "I see how much she loves the two of you every time she stands up to the bigots at school who talk badly about you. And I hate to say this but I think you need to trust your daughter more. You just finished telling me about how mature and understanding Rachel can be. You're right that Rachel will be an adult soon. That means you have to treat her like one. She deserves to know how her parents truly feel about her decisions. How else can she make an informed one? She might not agree with what you say but at least she'll know that you care enough about her to tell her the truth."

After she finished talking, Quinn felt a little embarrassed. She hadn't meant to start lecturing two grown men about what they should do with their daughter.

"She's right," Hiram said suddenly. "We've never lied to our daughter before and this game-playing is unworthy of the Berry reputation for honesty and forthrightness. Yes, the truth will set us free! It may hurt, but Rachel will understand. This is much better than my ideas to abscond with Rachel to New York or to fake an epilepsy before the wedding."

Leroy's eyes widened. He said, "You were thinking of- Hiram, you're not even an epileptic!"

"And that's why I would be _faking_ it," Hiram said slowly as if he didn't understand what his husband's problem with his idea was.

Quinn quirked an eyebrow in amusement. It was extremely easy sometimes to see where Rachel got her traits from. Her manic energy and dramatic nature clearly came from Hiram while her surprising patience and gentle empathy came from Leroy.

As if they could sense what she was thinking, the two men turned to her and smiled. Leroy said, "We apologize for getting you involved in our family drama, but we do appreciate what you're doing for our daughter. Rachel is lucky to have a friend like you."

Quinn was not a person who blushed easily, but she could feel herself turning red from Leroy's words. She mumbled a quick 'thank you' then she pulled out her cell phone to check the time and to use it as a buffer against any further awkwardness.

To her surprise, Quinn saw that she had ten missed text messages and three missed voicemails. They were all from Kurt. Her phone had been on silent, so the male diva had been unable to reach her. She quickly scrolled down and selected the first message.

_Quinn, we have a problem. Rachel is on her way home RIGHT NOW! I took her to the mall like you suggested, but then she got slushied by Azimio in the food court. Rachel insisted on going home to get changed and refused my offers to buy her a new outfit. You have about 15 minutes before she gets there, so you'll want to finish whatever you're doing PRONTO!_

Kurt had sent that message almost twenty minutes ago.

Quinn hadn't even begun to process the words she was reading, much less figure out what to do next, when she heard a door open and a voice say, "Dad, daddy, I'm home! I know I'm back early but I had a little mishap at the mall. I don't want you guys to be upset but I'm going to have to run the laundry tonight and..."

Rachel's voice trailed off after she entered the kitchen. Seeing that her mental wish to become invisible had obviously not come true, Quinn gave the other girl a tiny wave and a strained smile. Kurt was not with her. The coward had probably ran away to avoid Quinn's wrath. And he hadn't been lying about Rachel being slushied. The brunette looked like she could be an extra in the next Smurfs movie.

"Quinn! What are you doing here?" Rachel asked with an astonished look on her face.

"We asked her to stay for dinner," Hiram said. "We know you two are friends now and we thought it would be nice to get to know her better. You talk about her all the time after all."

"Dad!" Rachel said with a horrified gasp. "Don't say it like that. Quinn's going to think I'm creepy!"

Quinn had to admire Hiram's deviousness. Nothing he had said was a lie, and Rachel had been perfectly distracted from wondering about how and why Quinn was here in the first place.

"I could never think you were creepy, Rachel," Quinn said reassuringly.

"I'm glad you're here. I never thought you'd ever come to my house again," Rachel said excitedly.

"You've never invited me again," Quinn pointed out.

"There is that," Rachel said with a shrug. Then her eyebrows furrowed. "Wait, did my dads invite you over? I didn't know they knew your number."

So much for distracting her. Quinn figured that she owed Rachel the truth. Or at least part of it. She said, "No, they didn't invite me. I'm here because I needed to apologize to them. I felt that I owed them that much."

"Apologize for what?" Rachel asked.

"For things like this," Quinn said, gesturing at the blue stains on Rachel's sweater. "For everything I've ever said and ever done that made you feel like less than the beautiful human being you are."

"That was very kind of you," Rachel said in a near whisper. Her eyes glistened with tears.

Quinn suddenly felt very awkward. She didn't know what to do or say at the moment. But, as usual, Rachel Berry was never at a loss for words. She reached out and grabbed Quinn's hand and said _very _quickly, "You're going to enjoy this evening, Quinn. It was actually very fortuitous timing on your part because not only does Daddy make a mean vegan stir fry you will also be partaking in our ritual weekly pre-dinner entertainment. You may have heard about our infamous Tuesday night dinner theater events. We will be performing selections from the Broadway musical _Wicked _tonight, which you are of course familiar with from our time in Glee Club. I've actually always thought that you would make a wonderful Glinda. Perhaps you might consider joining us next time. But don't feel obligated. I would never want to pressure you into doing anything that you would not wish to-"

"Remember to breathe, dear," Hiram said casually as he turned his attention back to the sizzling pan on the stove.

Rachel obediently took in a deep breath and then slowly released it.

"Let's go get you changed, honey," Leroy said gently as he started to pull Rachel out of the room.

"I wish I had gotten some advance notice about such a momentous event," Rachel babbled to her father as she was led out of the kitchen. "Do you think I should put on the full Elphaba costume or would that be too much?"

A fond smile came over Quinn's face as she watched Rachel energetically leave the kitchen. There was just something about seeing Rachel so happy that brought a sense of wonder and peace to Quinn's heart. She wished she had known before how good it felt to make Rachel smile.

Quinn then noticed that Hiram was staring at her with a curious look. He asked, "You really care about Rachel, don't you?"

Quinn had many responses she could have made to that question, but in the end she simply said, "She's the best friend I've ever had."

Hiram seemed to consider his next words carefully. He said, "Do you plan on continuing friends with my little girl even after you've both graduated from high school?"

Quinn thought back to the words Rachel had said in the auditorium the other day and she knew her answer. She said, "I"m looking forward to being friends with her for the rest of my life."

"Good," Hiram said with a broad smile. "Then I'm trusting you to take care of her."

"I will," Quinn promised with widened eyes as she absorbed the older man's words.

Quinn still had hopes of her and Rachel becoming more than friends but even if they didn't she would still feel blessed to have the brunette in her life. Quinn had every intention of remaining friends with Rachel Berry. The distance between New York City and New Haven was not that great. She began to idly wonder how much it would cost to buy a pair of train passes for making that journey.


End file.
